"....some parents never feel they gave enough to their kids, while others find they had given out too much.."
I have the chance to watch "on the fringe 2" (边缘父子) on the web. It's a drama series about problematic parents, rather than problematic kids. The storyline is realistic. It did not simply reflect what happen in the underworld. More importantly, it reflects the life of those "on the edge". Those involved indirectly. For example, those who gambled and ended up borrowing from "loan shark" to tide over hard times, just like my dad. Yes, I have parents going through similar experiences like you saw in "on the fringe 2"
I guess It will be interesting to know how someone actually living in a family condition like that will feel. Everything has a consequences and so is this matter. First of all, I guess I learn to live my life without expectation. You didn't find adults are trustworthy and can be relied upon, you become very independent for very different reasons, but not wrong reasons. A bit like that Zhiyong in the drama, who felt dejected at home, become rebellious and wanted to leave home. His poor mother almost suffered a breakdown over the guilt of her own regret of marrying a wrong man, because of the failure to take good advice (a bit like my mom too!). Of course, I am still a lot luckier than Zhiyong, at least I was "granted" a sense to know the importance of education as the only way out (hope by the drama end, he can see that), playing the long game.
The harassment of loan shark was also shown in the drama. This had happened to us before. I had come across my father's name being put up on the wall, all over the place, because he owed some HUGE debt. That was rather hard to bear. The hardest is the absolute hopelessness that was left behind all of us, followed by angers that transformed into arguments and fights among other family members. And then I remembered it was me, who asked my dad if he wanted to go and see a counsellor to get some helps, after I had a cold war with him for 2 years, because I lent him some of my saving (to be used for my university few years down the road) and still not solved his problem. My dad agrees to that, but I didn't feel my effort to bring him to the counsellor was appreciated by other members in the family because my dad was not someone you can be hopeful of. His gambling and drinking problems say it all! At that time, I didn't have any expectation and/or hopes either. It's just taking one step at a time. However, my dad decided that prior to the second meeting with the counsellor, he wanted to stop the session. I have to let it be since he was the one who agreed to it in the first place. Strange enough, I didn't know how, but bringing the counsellor in seems to work. From then on, things seem to change for the better, but slowly. I can only say, there is no "unfinished business" now between my dad and I. In all honestly, for a son to go that far, the son is doing a lot. I cannot see how much more he can do to be a better son.
Though I was borne into a family like that, I very quickly in a very early stage of my life understand the true meaning of "imperfection", that there is no need to envy others in "good" family, we will bound to have problems anyway, so what's the difference. As I began to question why then are some people borne in "good", and some in "bad" family, I began to believe it's our Karma. Those sins we committed in our past life implicate our current life. It has to be "repaid" in some ways, which is why some parents never feel they gave enough to their kids, while others find they had given out too much. I was glad I was able to see this at fairly early stage of my life, and not affected by it too much as I quickly moved on, leaving all baggage behind, which is equally important to me, when subsequently making decision to come to the UK, particularly for the PhD studies..
Looking back to what had happened to my life, and if this were to be written as a novel, then those childhood period is perhaps only the first few pages of that novel, because a lot more interesting and exciting ones are actually found after that, and a lot more elaborated.
