Sex Addicts in Shame!

"... there was an air of persistent unspoken sadness...."

"Shame" is strictly a tragic movie. It is about a man and his sister who seemingly suffer from obsession with sex, or sometimes what people termed as "sex addiction".Michael Fassbender, who played the lead role gives a convincing performance portraying someone with an obsession for sex.

"Shame" touched on the rather taboo topic (perhaps not now, where you can easily find people talk about it, just search on Google, wherever you are, you find loads of discussions). One cannot, of course, not mentioned about how the sex scenes are played out. The excellent skills and editing of the director successfully describe what went on in the mind of a potential sex addict. The opening scene of Brandon (played by Michael Fassbender) watching a stranger in the crowded underground, with the eye-contact passing subtle messages was well captured and conveyed, leading to further pursue that was unsuccessful, portrayed the darkest desire for sexual needs in the most impossible place.

The film focused on the present moment, going great length to describe the life of sex addict without touching on the past too much (it was known in the movie that Brandon and his sister where left damaged by their childhood, which was never completely revealed in the movie), and yet not letting viewers finding this incomplete, because you do find there were moments of humanity where the characters were brought back to their pasts and they respond to it. You don't know what's in the past, but you can see they are affected by it. It was all very intense and moving. Some sex scenes were hard to watch simply because they were just illustrations of obsessions. Putting aside the nakedness and explicit exposure of the scenes, it was the facial expressions that said it all. You can see these were all very enforced and struggle within were written all over the face. There was also an air of persistent unspoken sadness in the atmosphere throughout the movie.The beautiful background soundtrack (by Harry Escott) also successfully enhanced the atmospheric effect.

Michael Fassbender was good in the movie because he skilfully uses body language, eye-contact and facial expressions to convey messages. It was the visit of his sister, Sissy, played by Carey Mulligan that interrupted his routine of pursue with sexual obsession, which then leads to the uncover of this rather abnormal desire in front of the viewers and eventually brought him to some degrees of awareness (I won't give it away how all this happen).

The last scene was classic. It brought the viewers back to how it gets started, the crowded underground again. This time, a stranger sensing Brandon to be "a potential", stood up from her seat, sensually hold on to the bar waiting for Brandon to do the same, but this time, Brandon just sat there, stared at her blankly. It could be the start of Brandon being aware of the problem he faced, his darkside or it could be Brandon simply "playing game". I like to think it is the former because that scene reminded me what I wrote the other day about the darkside, i.e., Acknowledging the darkside, not fighting and evoking it, but gently guiding it with awareness. Maybe that way, it felt more hopeful

The effect of the darkside 3 (The end)

" Walking with the darkside, that is within you..."

Ever since I wrote about my "darkside", I have been through some reflections because I felt a bit "disturbed" (perhaps I like a bit of challenge?). It has helped me gain my resistance back. It helped me to become "strong" again. Actually I read an article after written that "darkside", It is from a website that talk about "acknowledging the dark side of human nature". Something written on the site appeals to me (though I don't buy into 100% what the site wrote about. I much prefer to find my own path and build my knowledge base). It says, "The brighter the light, the darker the shadow. Everything has a shadow side. If you don’t see the shadow of a person, you don’t see the person and are blinded by idealisation. If you don’t see your own shadow, you are in denial, and will project your shadow onto others." Let me break that statement down into few parts and see if it make sense to you.

"If you don’t see the shadow of a person, you don’t see the person and are blinded by idealisation" How true that is! How often do we find a "certain mystery" in a person that seems "unexplainable" and how many times did you feel you are distant with the person, and no wonder best friends are sometimes those who know your darkest side (for example, secrets) and accepted them and still treated you as a good friend. Idealisation is similar to a state of perfection. What shows on the surface could therefore be potentially misleading.

"If you don’t see your own shadow, you are in denial, and will project your shadow onto others." There is no need to dig others' darksides, it is, however, important for one to be aware and to admit there is one within us. Denying that, you may subconsciously impose upon others, with consequences that may be undesirable. I supposed I had done that based on my encounter with the speaker the other day.

When I was little about 8 or 9 year old, I think. I remembered one early morning about 5 or 6 am. I went jogging all by myself on a quiet route all in total darkness with no street lighting. I told my uncle after that what I did. He was impressed, thinking I will "go far!. I am not sure  if I had gone far by now, but I am certain that experience at the time, really made me face my fear, and battle with it and then overcome it. Perhaps I have an emotionally "self-inflicting" personality, but I suppose I like to challenge my darkside. It is within me, but I want to walk with it. I gave myself opportunity to fight it, but now i know something. Acknowledging the darkside, not fighting and evoking it, but gently guiding it with awareness, should be the key. With that, I finished my three parts post on the darkside.