Sad Exercise

"You either find yourselves happy or sad by the way you are surrounded by people..."

JS holding his coffee mug with that broken handle, knocking on my office door and came in for a friendly chat. "So, what's up for the weekend?', asked JS. "Well, I probably will go for a swim later, it's my swim day'. I told JS. "Swimming feels like a sad exercise, doesn't it? It just you and you alone, and you can't get any interaction more than that." JS answered.

It's interesting how JS described swimming as a 'sad exercise'. I asked JS if he is a depressive person, which he answered not quite now compared to five years ago. I then told him that I found swimming to be 'reflective'. It helped me focus on my body movement and the use of my strength under water, which often didn't appear as 'straightforward' because each movement used up energy which required breathing in good timing, to help regained breathe for subsequent movement, which for me is 500 meters normally. This certainly means that you could strengthen you muscle through good breathing and body movement coordination. The strengthening of the abs muscle can be achieved by blowing out bubbles (really hard) coming out from that part of the lower body.

After my explanation, JS appeared to be convinced that swimming is not quite a 'sad exercise'. Perhaps being academics, it is only making sense that matter and so at the end of it, JS and I were quite happy that weekend is round the corner and then we bid each other farewell and wish for a good weekend to come.

You either find yourselves happy or sad by people you are surrounded by, either a lot of people, close family members or no one. Every interaction with people can bring joy or pain, even no interaction can do the same. However, every "interaction" (this may be your own thoughts or awareness of your thoughts and your surrounding) with your own self is not sad. Sad exercise (or even sad life)  involves one increasingly not found meaning in the exercise they engaged in (which will lead to failure in continuation after a while). In life, as you get fewer and fewer interactions with people, though this may act as a signal to tell you not to be too isolated and should really get out to see people, the important point is, either by choice or not by choice, there are ways to make good of this. And even when doing exercise, it could also bring you insight and knowledge not many would realise.

Draw, Dig and Daydream

"... are simply doing 'nothing'...."

Having bought my computer and setting it up successfully, I have now one task off the list and can focus on other aspect of my "work life balance" issue. I guess I still like being organised, though not necessarily implying to constantly check on the detailed bits and pieces, I do sort things out regularly to make sure I get a bit of control, just like you de-fragmentize your PC, you don't do it everyday, only at interval, to get rid of the 'clutters'.

Today, I cleared up my office desk as I just finished some collaborative research with my colleague. There were piles of papers everywhere, and I need to file them clearly to where they belong, by the topics they represent. I am in need of  space for other work. However, being organised can only help you this much, more importantly, as I move on to other research work, which normally is on a different topics of interest, the continuity of the work spirits needs to be there. As a result, I need to put in a bit more effort to get that 'work spirits' in place and hence, I find myself needing to do more to maintain the work momentum.

I had not been catching up with my favourite blog lists for a while. Today, a random browse brought my attention to "Permission to Putter", which is an article about 'doing nothing', with a different take. "Doing nothing" is a process, not quite a stage of being (since it is also doing, except, doing nothing) The article interestingly suggested some activities that can be engaged to help one 'do nothing'. To me, this is important, as I need to completely "get out of myself" before entering into an entirely different mind set to do research of a different topics. I needed the freshness to help drive inspirations, ideas and creativity. The article suggested draw, dig and daydream to be some of the activities. I can see how these are 'do nothing' activities. They can be carried out randomly and intuitively, rather than 'logically', that way, the mind can rest.

I hope tomorrow I will move nicely into my research with JL, following my updates today, but perhaps I should do 'nothing' first before I began doing those research?

What did I learn from my technology phobia?

"fear is not a fear when you began to make sense of it..."

My laptop of five years has recently gone to heaven. In the past two weeks or so, Obviously, the sensible way is for me to acquire a new computer. It actually took me quite considerable amount of time to decide what model to go for. The harder one was deciding whether to go for a laptop or a desktop PC. I realised I was so used to my 'comfort' zone that the question of 'what if' kept coming up. what if there is some unsolvable problem and especially after the period of warranty, I may have to bring the heavy desktop for repairs. How inconvenient will that be, which made me think perhaps having a laptop would be easier as it is lighter and can be brought anywhere I like. It was my colleague who suggested that a desktop would be more durable than a laptop, which convinced me I should really consider one. Furthermore, a widescreen PC monitor which can accommodate columns and columns of spreadsheets, will help in my research.That gave me another motivation to get a desktop, rather than a laptop, where the screen size is only as large as 17", but it could be about 24" for a desktop computer monitor.

So, I overcome my initial concerns supposedly. And then I kept sourcing for information, which I was so obsessed to want to be perfect. And indeed, I never failed to source for alternative options and compared them to find the best and to make sure I get the best. In a strange way, I have to thank my research skills, I find myself able to pick up information and digest them fairly quickly and of course also the efficient search engine, allowing me to find more information, such as what made a LED PC Screen good quality, apart from energy saving.

In the end, when all have been gathered and coming to decision time, it was hard. The fear of making regretful decision procrastinated my move. More importantly, I wanted to make sure I get my value worth for every penny I spent. In the end, I have to depend on my 13" screen alternative laptop every night while at home, and working at 1GB Ram, It was a real pain. Things didn't feel quite as consolidated and my mind was undecided on the BEST value deal. At times, I even thought about going back to buying a laptop as I was not sure if it would be a good move. There were so many things, the cable, the wiring, the quality of the monitor screen and the space available.

I find that, eventually when I had decided to stick to buying the desktop, the concerns were the same. It was still the widescreen and the durability. I will be paying almost the same price if I go for the laptop, which would not be as durable, and still the desktop has better-graded processor and RAM. Therefore, in the end, I go for the desktop. Clicking those buttons to process the order was another tough job. After that, I began to fear if I would break the PC monitor, not sure if they would be hard to set up, for I know if I bought a laptop, that would not be a problem. I was so afraid it would be a wrong decision. I was so anxious that I searched for the product manual and see it for myself how to set up the PC monitor, which I was then convinced that it would be fine.

Now as I typed this blog post on my new computer, I can say I have no regret with my choice. In fact, I even got an exchange from John Lewis because I told them the sound quality was not good for that earlier version of the HP desktop I bought, and I wanted to exchange to another cheaper HP desktop model, with a supposedly "preferred sound quality" (hehe!). In the end, it's a good deal. With a processor of intel i7-2640, running at 6GB RAM and a 23" IPS Panel LED PC monitor, that comes with 3 cable ports, and paying in total about £700 (after deducting vouchers and discounts), what can I still complain about, especially I also have two years guarantees for my desktop PC and five years warranty for the LED PC monitor.

So, what has "technology phobia" taught me? I think phobia surrounds each and every comfort zone that contains you. What let you out of there, is your visualisations of your phobia and your making sense of them. Researching information is mean to an end, aiming at making sense. And fear is no more a fear when you began to make sense of it. What's left is a bit of courage and belief in yourself to move just ONE more step to make THAT decision, bearing in mind that, though nothing would likely remain as perfect, it is only a matter of tolerance, which I hope I don't have to bear too soon.