Comfort Zone is not that bad

"There is light in the comfort zone. There is life there. Stay and enjoy."

Recently there is a nice little video that I kept seeing friends sharing on fb. It is called 'it depends on what you believe'. It's about the process of having a dream and the barriers underlying it, which the narrator broke it down into the panic, comfort and the learning zones. It aims to tell people why sometimes "moving forward" seems so difficult. I then reflected upon my achievement so far in this life and asked if I ever was trapped in those zones. I guess perhaps I had, but it seems not in that linear order.

The most appropriate that relate to my 'dream' should be how I got out of Singapore more than 10 years ago. I, however, cannot say that is my 'dream' or there is a known 'zone' I was trapped in, comfort or learning zone. Obviously like all young people in their early twenties, just out of the University, you have dreams, you want to achieve so much in such a short period of time. And yes, what's the past that others expect of you or what they suggested to you affected your perception of a 'dream' to chase after. I guess I was quite affected by what one of my closest Uncle always believe, to excel in a job/career in "marketing". I was always aware that I was under the 'influence' (which not necessarily a bad thing, it could be a "good" guide) but on the other hand, on the look out to 'take control', so as to do things that is truly from my perspective. Being younger at the time, what actually move me forward is the fearless sense of 'I can always start all over'.

In my earlier years of struggle to make a career in Singapore, which is almost similar to this case, except that I didn't get myself into depression, perhaps I understand the value of knowing people. I guess it is hard not for people to attach any motive behind for knowing important people in their life. That is because that seems to be the 'short cut' to luck if the 'right' people turn up. To make it short, I did had my 'opportunity' knocking my door because I knew some 'right' people, though that was not the outcome I had expected. Perhaps it's the personalities, how you relate to people bring you some good vibes which could dynamically transform into all sort of possibilities, and yes, my personalities also expose me to both 'good' and 'bad' people, which I had learned about only after a few years, still I am thankful for the 'good' people I met along the way.

Sometimes, no matter how hard one try to make things happen and if they had not, we should ask ourselves honestly if some changes are necessary. If so, how fast such changes should come. Perhaps we may be so accustomed to the 'status quo' that we won't want to have any changes, which is what the video labelled as 'comfort' zone. I actually strongly think we can still see 'light' at the end of the tunnel in the comfort zone and live with it, as long as we know what we want and what to expect (expect the "realistic things" of course).

"Reaching out to your dream" means different things, in different stages in our life. There is no need to think "too big" especially if you are in the earlier stage of your career. Just do ONE THING, do it well and you know where it leads you to. Simply because you need a process experiencing your true competence. For me, I didn't have much experience finding a role or career that allow my competence to show fully in my earlier years, and I had then become experimental, aiming to locate where my strength lie. Having that in mind, you would find your strength one day and a job that suit you and then you  started to think about your dream. In the current stage of my life, having been through all that, "dream" is still relevant, but comfort zone seems more valuable. I am more than happy to just stay it this way for very long time because I simply enjoy it. Being there, done that, bought the T-shirt, like they all said.

Happiness and Luck

"Can you trade happiness for luck?"

Researchers never stop their quest on humans reasons for happiness. And the latest findings appear to, shockingly, claim that "Happiness is thinking you’re getting luckier than your friends." Some claimed that such happiness that derived by 'comparing with others', is going to cause unhappiness. The research findings didn't reveal how people would react if they know their peers are 'luckier' than they themselves. Will that make them unhappy?

Actually, It's quite natural for humans to compare with others. We always like to think of ourselves a little better than others, even in actual fact, it is not the case. It's the little thing that make us feel a bit better, and it is a 'good feeling'. I guess it is no harm having a bit of 'stroke' on our ego at times, as long as it is not harming others. Obviously, it is quite likely that, if we are not careful, we may lose our composure and over-reacted to the fact that we are a lot better and luckier than our friends, and that won't be in our favour, especially if we lost ourselves in front of our friend.

Reading the findings make me think once again about the nature of happiness, which in my opinion, should come from within. The appreciation, understanding and accepting of oneself. There is calm, peace and then happiness will eventually emerge. I would call this type of happiness comes with an underlying sense of purity. While feeling happy out of comparison with others, is out of the fact that our ego is being 'stroked'. I think both type of happiness are entirely different, but they do genuinely serve some good purposes.

Quality of life?

 "perhaps whatever that helps you to plan?"

Recently in Singapore, the government tried out a new way to ease crowds during peak hours for its MRT (underground) network. by granting free access to the network, for those travelling before 7.45 am on the weekday, and not applicable on weekend. I am expecting this to attract huge 'mad rush' given that it is not often that things are 'free' and even more so in Singapore. The follow-up question is, if you arrived the office so early, what would you do? Some say it might end up working for longer hours, while others start doing planning for their days if they were to arrive early in office.

A few friends have been commenting that it is hard to say if Singapore has any sense of work-life balance at all. The working hours are rigid, rules are strict on staff flexibility with office hours. Perhaps that is an issue about 'value' and 'work ethnics'. One other friend in the past asked me how the UK survive if most of their shops close at 6 pm everyday? Interestingly, it happened and they have no problem with it. I guess gone are the days where the old Asian-type value about 'working hard' dominate what most would think as the determinant of success factor for an economy. There are always more than one way of doing the same things, and more so when considering different cultural backgrounds.

I only feel lucky with my situation in the UK, simply the fact that, I enjoy a healthy work-life balance, I am allowed to work from home and my boss would not doubt about 'what I do' at home. In fact, I choose my office hours, and can flexibly start my day, as long as I fulfilled my duty of 'teaching' and 'attending meetings'. Obviously, politics and others prevail (it is human that we are working with, right?), but there's another matter.

I am happy with the MRT service in Singapore despite previous episodes of delay and seems even more so increasingly. The only thing I complain is the lack of a day-ticket system (which can be understood as it would be costly and given the size of the population and the crowds, that perhaps won't be enough to make up for the loss of revenue from the day-ticket type scheme, which prevails in many cities already, such as London). Anyway, this inevitably affects plan and of course my 'work-life balance' each time I visit Singapore for short stay. But, there you go!