The Karma of kind people

"... only blocks the way forward..."

It will be easier if the world only consists of "good" and "bad" people. It is complicated, however. Many a time,  a lot of people actually fall in between the "good" and the "bad". It then made human relation interesting  when we are not too sure how "good" or "bad" other people are. Have you had this experience, in that you "over-react" simply because you are a "kind" person and because you weren't sure of other people "intention" or "motive" and in the end you realise your assumption was wrong. I guess this sort of experience taken place in people life.

If you are a "kind" person or what some friends had subjectively claimed, you may then raise your defencive bar when dealing with people, especially if you had been "bullied" before. I don't think there is a one size fits all solution to this. But, do you believe that even kind people can have Karma? I considered this as the price to play for lesson learnt for the consequence of our behaviour. When we can't cure a situation , we accept and bear the consequence, in the future this "past" will become an experience and taught us how to devise preventive measures to avoid same thing to happen again.

Such life lesson becomes an important tool for future reference. People attract people, how we act, react and response all determine the consequence we get with people. The more we learnt  from our experience (arising from the consequence we have to bear), the more we gained. As they all said, older and wiser, that is quite true. Over time, we learned more, we bear lesser undesirable consequences. Of course, those who never learnt from their life experience only get worst over time and never get better. Human relation can be so delicate and subtle that even those considered as "kind" or "good-hearted" people could miss one thing or two  when dealing with people. This leads to consequences that just block the way forward for them.

Living life in Anger

"..... perhaps it's time to change job."

Recently, GS was promoted. I was really happy for him. GS is about 8 years younger than me and a bright academic. I often joke with him that, even if he were to waste 8 years of his life time, he would still catch me up. He is already promoted two grades higher than me, how fantastic is that!

Yesterday, I heard GS might leave the job, which I was a little surprised. Hasn't he just recently promoted? My other colleague, JS told me that GS was "not happy" and he had a history here where he was not "treated well". It appears that he still cannot get over it and had this urge to "want more" to "compensate" for the "ill treatment". GS's experience seems to be similar to mine while I was in my previous job, which explain why I resigned. In a workplace, Human Beings can become strange creature. At times, we may overestimate ourselves or overlooked our ability to "change thing". We forget we are facing an organisation that has lots of procedure and every step of the ways must be treated with care. Letting Anger get the better of us only block us on our way up and nothing else. In the end, it appears that GS didn't quite get what he wanted from his promotion Another colleague in the promotion committee, commented to me that, GS didn't appear as good as he thought he was, despite him having four 4* published papers. It seems that he didn't quite present or packaged himself good enough for others to be convinced.

If unfortunately one were to be caught in situation that is tricky and the inner silent anger (because you didn't  think things are being fairly developed in your favour and this bothered you sometimes) cannot be properly  addressed, you end up bottleneck your anger and it turns into intensity and frustration. This affects the way you communicate with people and making it even harder, coming to important matter such as those related to promotion. The workplace could easily become a nightmare. Like what I once heard, "if you cannot change the environment, change an environment to suit you". Perhaps GS already know this which explains why he might leave the job. 

We may carry our anger with us, even the source of it may track back to the distant past. This could be our past workplace, for example. The harder one, however, is the anger that developed at home. It could easily pass down from older to younger generation, if unfortunately you are borne with problematic parents. I am glad I no longer have issue with that coming from the family. As for the workplace, the previous job which I had left and glad I did so, had provided me with insights that help me deal with job expectation and human relation appropriately, which should be crucial for my career advancement subsequently as I progress.

Discover your strength the fun way

".... Okay, Let's look at how animals behave.." 

I love horoscopes. I read a lot about horoscopes. I even try to guess other people's horoscopes and sometimes I got it right. I have a book  that tell me each and every fact about the Chinese horoscopes, the yin and the yang, the effect on the 5 elements and more interestingly, the cross over with the western horoscopes and the characters descriptions.

Being interested and believing in horoscopes could be a sign of being fatalistic, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, This is because I had fun in the process. Some people told me not to be too obsessed with this, as in this is a bit of "self-fulfilling" and could misguide oneself. I only know I would choose to believe in the "good" things that say about the horoscopes and ignore the "bad" one. This could motivate you if applied properly. At times, I get so "analytical" in it that I even use it as a guide in my human relations, as I slowly observed people along the way, helping me keep an interest with people and enhancing the relationship with them. Who can say horoscope does not serve any purpose.

I was borne in the year of Dog. I do make an conscious effort to think about the Dog's characters and relate that to myself. Yes, I can hear some said I should "hold life in my hand as it is my destiny", but sorry, I am not fighting this. I am following "what's there" and make the best of it. Certain things in life just won't change and in a good way, it should help move people in the positive direction, if managed well. The skills can be learnt.

If I am looking on the "good" side, then I should be thinking about the strength of dogs. One ability and strength of dogs are that,  dogs are capable of nursing their wounds. Applying this in my context means that, I would "move away" if I am aware I am "uncomfortable". This does not necessarily mean that I am physically hurt, but may be "emotionally unwell" too. Knowing and aware of this help me "nurse" it better and ensure they are sorted and gave me a chance to re-charge. In fact, I have been having a "time out" this few weeks, which explain why my blog was empty for a while.I am thinking there should be a couple of weeks within a month that this could happen and it needs some "nursing" and private reflection.

Knowing ones strength is important and knowing a bit about horoscopes help support oneself soul searching and identifying area that perhaps needs improvement and others which are the strength that can be tapped upon and use more often. This is an interesting alternative other than sourcing for "self-help" mechanism. It works for me.