Deep, Deeper and Deeper Still

 ".. Meditation slows down your thoughts..."

Not all admit that we do have a 'darkside' in us. I would have thought this should not affect anyone too much. It is only the 'quality' of life that would have an impact. It's whether we want to face it.

Since buying the desktop PC, some traces of thoughts seem to have left in my head, and keep holding me back to re-evaluate this purchase decision. It probably related to the issue of 'value' of the product underlying the price, etc. It's in my sub-consciousness to the extent I cannot get rid of. This purchase experience leads me to believe that what I perceived before and after about my purchase decision should remain consistent. This purchase experience has also helped me understand myself more. I don't want life to be too complicated, that includes technology, which may explain my phobia towards it. Perhaps contentment is built on having things 'just about right', and not being overly 'obsessive', that way we remain as 'ourselves' rather than 'losing' it. Perhaps I just lost myself in my pursue of the 'quality' of PC I was after, which could end up me looking for something more than I need and then overpaid it. This is perhaps someone who prefer or promote a 'minimalist' style of life should avoid? The purchase of this PC gives new insights about my desire on other possible things in my life I am after, and should help with managing expectation in the future.

I want to end my 'attachment' to the thought of this Desktop PC, but how best should I end such thoughts (wasteful thoughts, perhaps?). Today I found an answer. I attended the BK meditation workshop on 'Deep, Deeper and Deeper Still". It discussed few aspects of meditation to help deepen the experience. Some rather insightful messages were conveyed. I especially related to the idea on "acceptance, experience and being' as the three levels of sub-conscious minds likely to take place in us in our daily life. Using the Desktop PC as an example, then I suppose I have now accepted that I perhaps might have overlooked the issue of "quality" in the purchasing process, which should then be something I must remember next time if I were to make similar decision. It reminded me each time my mind rehearse the few events where I had experienced that when thinking to buy the Desktop PC. Now as I began to accept this, it becomes part of me. It is being part of me.

As I dwelt on this a bit deeper, I would imagine meditation could have helped in the process. Meditation slows things down. My buying decision was urgent because my then laptop was broken and I wanted to get a new one quickly. It is true that I can afford to buy it, but still coming to the issue of 'value', now that I think of it, it still needs some consideration. Now that this has happened, I could not turn back the clock, but I should look at the positive side of the Desktop PC. My sub-conscious mind needs to get rid of the 'negative' thinking attached to the PC. Just like what was said during the workshop, "A glass of water, no matter how light, is not the weight, but how long you hold on to it that matters". Indeed, our energy needs to be channelled in the best possible way to help us to feel light and free anytime, in order for us to fight the our inner 'demon'.