I emailed a friend yesterday, telling him, how differently I felt each time I returned to Singapore. Indeed, I am suddenly a bit confused whether going back Singapore, as if a routine (just like some may think visiting relatives during the Chinese New Year), is this doing it for my parents (as they probably miss me) or doing it for me (taking time off, holidaying, etc) or perhaps a bit of both, but still not sure which is more. I find myself knowing lesser and lesser friends in Singapore, following my long stay and work in the UK, which is inevitable. Each time I went back Singapore, those who I SURELY want to meet, guess who? well, those who went to college/University with me, those friends I get along well in the past. So, hopefully something can be planned along those lines.
Sometimes, I thank facebook; some other times, I hated it. Facebook help bridged people who lost touch in the past, but also brought back nightmare, some old enemies, who you made during those immature years at school. Forget about "mending the relationship", something in life are just worth forgetting, right? I remember getting in touch with my secondary school mates once using a social media (i don't think is facebook), and we had a couple of gathering in a couple of years I went back Singapore. After that, I don't feel like attending and never attend anymore, just not sure what to chat about, also, I spent so many years in the UK, there is really no common talking point.
The social media change the way people perceived friendship. I always think there must be some gaps left behind. Human is complex enough. However, you do lost touch with your "self", and forget altogether what you want and doing things the majority are doing, which is not necessary. Interesting, I do find a couple of funny people during the University day that I like to get in touch back again. I am happy to find one such friend on facebook. I really look forward to meeting him in my trip back to Singapore.
I actually like meeting some of my aunties. Most of them adore me when I was little. I think I am really lucky here. I also like to meet a couple of "distant" uncles. I like meeting them because they like to "chat" and downplay making meeting like a big thing, so normally will do with cup of tea, simple drink, etc, which I prefer. I guess this is a bit like a very Western thing, where you will say to a mate, "let's go for a pint, I buy you a drink and we can have a chat". We normally go to the "public house" (pub). In Singapore, we may go to the "coffee shop". However, "coffee shop" tends to be "greasy", but there are "posher" ones these days. On the other, pubs also have quieter one and nosy one, all up to your preference.
I had not made plans already to meet people this time back to Singapore. I guess I will meet the "usual suspects" and give some surprise phone calls to some on my lists that I had not contacted for ages. I guess I should not be too ambitious over the coming 3 weeks, also to take things easy. If not able to meet up with so and so, can also do next time. It is strange that some people still feel "offended" just because you didn't go and see them. I don't get it. Anyway, I can't spend too much time on them. I must think more for myself and have time for myself. There will be two hours left before my plane landed in Singapore tomorrow this time. I am looking forward to it, the journey more than the destination actually.
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