放下?放什么下？let go of what?

"letting go takes time; letting go needs patience; letting go is a decision......"

Today I saw my college school's friend, Ben Yen, posted a comment on her facebook, 要学会放下, i.e., should learn to let go. I thought it might be some kind of a casual comment, and so I wrote on her post, "really?", in a way, I took it as a joke. Then I saw her other friends, presumably those knew about the background information a bit better to ask her "go for it", and I began to sense that I am "missing out on something". So I separately wrote her a short message privately and asked if she was okay, she said it's fine and it's just about some workplace hiccups. I was glad to hear that. Anyway, I always thought Ben Yen was a very sorted person, remembering those college days where she was our chairman in the Chinese Society we so involved with. She came across during those days like a leader and very organized and able to command respect and give instruction confidently. I hope she can cope with whatever she came across at work, as I believe she is an able person, just like during the college days. :D

Anyway, Ben Yen inspired me to write this blog post. I would like to share something about "letting go". As the word implied, It is like an act, but I think it could be a condition or a state of mind. Did I ever feel any sense of "not able to let go" in my life?" I am not too sure. What is it that keep one to hold back? Any regret? Anything you find a wrong decision you made and still holding on to? I guess these are the questions one should ask oneself? Letting go is a feeling of "freedom", letting go is also about "closure". Letting go is also a decision, yes it is up to you.  

I know someone was depressed for a long time after he learned that his loved one was getting married. He was depressed and he kept sleeping, staying on the bed, refused to get out. Until he decided that he has to go out and see people. He got out of the flat, when get down the bus and walk into the crowd, he saw the image of his loved one all over the place. He kept telling himself that was not true, but this happened more than once. He made a decision to want to let go, so each time the image float on his head, he reminded himself that was not true and he asserted himself to move on, it was painful, there were tears, but he gets on with it, he let the tears flow, knowing it will be lesser and lesser as time passed as he believe things will get better. Indeed, one year later, he was fine as he finally able to put those past back to his head, live a new life and feel free.

Letting go is not easy, it needs you to be assertive first. Somehow I see letting go as an outcome. You may be able to "easily let go" in your daily life because you have or you learned the ability to do so, perhaps through religion. At times, however, it is a decision to make, and a very big one. We are a product of our past, and for some people, baggage that you shoulder could be hard to "let go" and "letting go" is a decision to make.