I learned a new interpretation of the word "self-respect" the other day on our Tuesday Meditation class. We started with the discussion about tolerance, which of course ring a bell, because tolerance is a virtue in our culture. Tolerance in our understanding has a different meaning. It is written this way, 忍. This implies you have a knife above your heart, so you have to tolerate. It is as good as suffering. Strictly, speaking it is not a good thing.
In the Tuesday's meditation, we see tolerance in a new light. It has a positive connotation. It is a form of self-respect. Self-respect that one has, helps one to acknowledge one's purpose of existence. We use the example of a tree that bears fruits, and showing that a boy was kicking the tree to have the fruits dropped on the ground, in order to eat it. We then said the tree is a giver (in fact, most from nature, like plants, flower, etc, are givers). They serve a good purpose to mankind to provide something positive to mankind. It is a good analogy because the tree won't move anyway, and we can say it is having self-respect, it won't fall, it's stem is strong, it will survive, the more this implies the strength of self-respect.
In my profession, sometimes we have to deal with difficult students. We often ensure we do our best, and that we clearly state our positions. That way, we won't be affected by badly or unacceptable behaviors by students. Another example of "self-respect" I encountered is on today. I had a long 3 hours lecture which totally drained me dry. I was so exhausted afterward, because there were a few tasks need to be completed and mostly involving deadlines. The thought of having to deal with them dread me. I then keep myself silent for 10 minutes, sitting alone and mediate. It helps me move away from the thought of a "dreadful" day and I felt better after that. I guess I could say I gain back my self-respect because I did get back on to carry on my task and I found myself more productive. I have a better than expected outcome, which I am pleased.
Indeed, if one is too close or "too involved", one could not think straight and meditation in this case, help one move away and become detached, that way, one can see things better. It helps you get back on track, more focused and gaining back "self-respect", i.e., the purpose of your existence to getting on with things, doing things properly and acting on things. This practices certainly benefit me.
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