Yes, I do and It only emerged yesterday.
What was that darkside about?
We had a speaker yesterday in the School. That academic happened to be a former student from Aberdeen, whom I found to be a bit pushy and clingy when she was trying to do her PhD. However, she was also very good in getting things her way and get it done in the end, which explain why in the end she funded herself and finished the PhD and get to where she is today.She remains my "darkside" due to those moments where she becomes "clingy" and "pushy" which didn't quite affect me at the time, but it could get worst. She was introduced by other colleagues to give a seminar here. She appears likable, but not someone I like to get any closer.
How do you get over that "darkside"
Well, I didn't deliberately want it to go away. That thought just lingered on in my head. I just didn't feel comfortable seeing her presence around, just a feeling that I don't want to relate to her in any way. Being a host, she was brought around to see our colleagues for friendly introduction. She did came to my office and had a chat. All that we chat about was whatever that happened at Aberdeen. A bit of a gossipping, which I found fun at times, but not a lot. She did most of the talking, so I just listened. She appeared to be a bit self-pitying over her experience at Aberdeen, and think I may feel the same, but i was not. However, she still not the person I want to relate to too much. At some points in the chat, she was saying about her external examiner for her PhD, mentioned the name, which I knew already and she said she was working on a paper with him. I said to her, yes good, work with famous people, and I added, perhaps you know this already. Then she went on to say about how nice some of the elderly colleagues, how fatherly they are, etc. On our way out of the office, she was saying about keeping in touch and link and network, which honestly I was not too keen. And she said perhaps I could go to her university to give a paper or something, which I immediately replied I need to write paper, giving her two messages, either I am not free for these meaningless activity or I don't have anything yet to make presentation. Just let her decide which one she want to believe. So in the end, I just deal with the "darkside" naturally, when times come for me to do something, I will do it and hit the right time to "send messages", I will do it.
Are there other darksides?
Yes I do. Those hidden darksides accumulated as you grow older. You met people, you interacted with people, you formed relationship with people, conflicts, communication gaps, misunderstandings all lead you to act or react with unexpected or undesirable consequences. At times, it became too hard to explain or sort it out and when moving forward is the only option, these past experiences spillover to your future encounters in similar fashions. You may be "older" and "wiser", but value judgement could always be biased by the emergence of the darksides. It's the living in the now that matters. It does not mean there won't be any struggle, still it is worth it and It adds meaning to your life
If one has so many issues or darksides, especially if it is dealing with people, how would one ever settle down properly in a relationship or friendship.
Yes, it is hard. Such darksides make you cast doubts with people, I supposed. At times, it becomes even harder when you dealt with them online (people you not seen before or not seen for a while), when you didn't see the facial expression when they type the messages, where, saying one things and meaning another could be likely and may confuse people. The effects of doubts of people on relationship was very well demonstrated in As good as it gets, a movie which I had written a review. I guess what's different in reality is that, some people become single for the rest of their life due to that. It might not be as bad as it seems. This seems like seeing the light at "the other" end of the tunnel, but not those in a close relationship (which of course I give my full blessing) could understand.
0 comments:
Post a Comment