Did I just attend a "food" conference?

"I lost count of the calorie intake from those food, they were at least 2 to 3 times the amount I normally would take in for my lunch"

Today begins with the second day of the BAA conference, and I started by attending session of talks on topics about insitutional investing and voting. For a conference like this, I am often too familiar how they feed you with food and dessert and gala dinner. So, we have carrot cake for tea that is between 10.30 am and 11 am. And then lunch time about 12.30 pm with fish pie, rice and some veggie and of course with a nice chocolate with cream as dessert. I lost count of the calorie intake from those food, they were at least 2 to 3 times the amount I normally would take in for my lunch, how can I not be sleepy all subsequently in the afternoon? Thinking about the long sessions of talks one would have to attend after lunch time, it's just felt so tiring and stressful, apart from feeling sleepy. In the afternoon, I have to take a break from the talk sessions to have some times on my own.

The evening dinner was interesting. It is held in the Cardiff Millennium Stadium, in the Millennium Lounge. I was sat next to my former colleauge, RK and former boss, SG, in which she was uneasy and thinks it is "awful" when I call her as my former boss because it seems so "former", but it is just being "respectful" from my perspective. There were 5 courses for the dinner. The starters are few pieces of salmons, followed by tomatoes soups, then came the lamb chops with veggie and finally apple pie with ice-cream followed by cheese, fruits and coffee. I was struggling a bit with the lamb, have to "cut it REAL hard". I told RK they had given me a middle-age and overweight lamb, and I am just "kind enough" to give it some "fresh" behind to live on. hahahaha!

A gala dinner like this often will have a gig to end up the evening. I had known some really cool, younger academics who seemed to know how to have funs and they were quick to ask me to join in, which I however didn't want to. I was just tired, but happy that I had chat and catch up with friends I knew before and former colleagues and just want to go back to the hotel about 11 pm.

Experiencing the Wales' weather

It may be the start of the British Summer Time, the weather is still very uncertain at time. I am in Cardiff today for two days attending the BAA conference 2010. I was excited the day before and was looking forward to it. The train took about 3 hours to Cardiff and I was disappointed to find that there was not even a socket available at any point in the train. I therefore cannot even watched the "Friday night with Jonathon" that I downloaded earlier on my hard-drive to be watched on BBC iplayer.

When arriving at Cardiff about 11.35 am, the weather was unbelievably cold and windy. I think between 4 and 6 degrees. Luckily the hotel was only 2 minutes walk from the station and I do like my hotel room, very zen and minimial. Then I head towards the city hall in which the conference was held. I had lunch in their lower hall and met up old colleauges and had nice chats.

My presentation went on well. I was a little nervous to start, but later I get more encouraged knowing people were paying attention and showing some interests. There were interesting questions from the audience, and I answered them. I only wished I had a bit more time so that I can explain things a little slower and give more information. I had nice chat afterward with another participant, it was nice because I was able to engage with people about my research and they listen attentive showing their interest. I also met a German who did similar research with mine and who I also gave some feedback.

During the evening, we went out for a meal with some conference attendents and sat next to a chinese academic from a Wales University. We exchange lots of idea about doing research and he seems like having a really good potiental. I was, however, caught in a rather heavy rain on my way back, but after all, I had enjoyed my presentation and share thoughts and experience about my research. That is all that matter, never mind the weather. :D

Too many bright brains, too few have them!

"Beautiful country house, but bad weather today....."

Today is the research away day. I meant to bring my camera with me as the country house, Beaumanor Hall is known to be a beautiful place to visit, but I had forgotten about it on my way out. Anyway, the weather was not as good as it should be, so perhaps it should not make a difference if I had bought my camera with me. I had enjoyed myself today. The programme was not too packed with speakers one after another, non-stop, and just feed you with information. It had breaks, but the speakers deliver well too.

MT is one of our research leader who will be retired soon. He discussed why positive accounting research is unscientific, and along the way, bring out his research topics. I can follow him closely from beginning to the end. He knew his stuff so well that he is able to explain them so clearly. When I later approached him to ask if he would like to read my published paper to give me some hints on potential areas for development, he agreed to do so with no hesitation. I see some similarities in what he did about the non-linear stuff when compared to my "distributional pattern" topics. It will be interesting to see what he make of it. I can see how people will benefit working with him. But I do know working with the good people is not something you can beg for, it just happen. Having said that, MT is generous and willing to share to teach you what he knew. He helps people grow and he helps people see the light. :D

The highlight of the day was the discussion at the end about publication strategy. It didn't appear to be what I was expecting. It was a lot of discussion about the political side of publication, about how the network system you need to get in tune with to get your paper known, etc. As a junior member of staff, I supposed we want something more concrete, like how to get our work known and getting network, etc. They discussed about the importance of network, without telling us how to network. Other colleague like LM seems to be "playing the devil advocate" in that he disagrees with what some had to say, thinking that the discussion central too much on the political side of things on "getting published".

I like LM as he often helps single out issue where others might be unaware and that helps put things in perspective. Towards the end of the meeting, i wrote a short note, "too many bright brains, too few have them" and passed to RF. she had a laugh. Perhaps I might be right. :D

Officially British Summer Time (BST)!

"Even dog knows how to relax, I guess I need to do something"

Today is officially BST in the UK. We have to turn our clock forward one hour at 1 am today, and we lost one hour and thankfully this is not done on the weekday, if not, we have to sacrifice one hour sleep, which is annoying. It's been very relaxing the whole day. It's the first time since beginning of the year I don't have to worry about lecturing material on the weekend because next week is beginning of the Easter holiday and I am travelling, so, it should be fun.

Since I "found myself" the other, I have been concentrating doing my slides for the conference presentation next week and today I finished it. I am not nervous like I used to. It is refreshing, now that in the conference, I am not presenting to bunch of 19, 20 yo in a lecture, and also to a smaller group of people and also only for 20 minutes. That took a lot of stress away from me and I am even more relaxed. Anyway, this topics to be presented, in which the paper version has been submitted does not make me feel anxious about it. It is more or less finalised, so I would only present main points. All else, the conference is going to be a very intensive one with LOADS on topics and presentations going on and on. I just look forward to meet RK and I just received a text from her confirming that we will meet for lunch on the 30th March. We will have SO MUCH gossips to laugh about and talk about. She is really fun, laughers follow her wherever she goes and with me around, the laughters even louder, hahaha! :D

I went out for a bit to get some fresh air, get some reduced price for breads and strawberry and stick them to the freezer. I shaved my hair as well, do my washing and then do my blog, trying to find a theme of a nicer background, and playing the beautiful "Frozen Silence" on itune, writing my blog. It just felt wonderful. :D

It felt great not only because the 3 weeks Easter breaks is round the corner or that I am going for conference, but also tomorrow we are going for an away day in Beaumanor Hall. A day, out and about with colleagues in, hopefully, good weather condition. I am looking forward to all that, Yay! :D

Get over your "perfectionism"!

"Yes, it takes time and also needs you to adjust your expectation.... to reach your.... "PERFECTION"

There are actually lots of website talking about "self-help" related issues and I found one recently I like a lot, it is called shine. it is very generic and good fun, and because it is internet related, it can often pick up latest issues being researched on for discussion. Like I always believe, we should always be critical with whatever we came across and see them from another perspective, so no one is god here.

Few days ago I read about "How to get over your perfectionism and start getting real" from shine. You can tell from the webpage that it tries to be a little uncoventional by the way it delivers its messages. Two points from that webpage I like to further discuss They are: 1) Forgive your mistakes and 2) Mistakes = growth.

1) Forgive your mistake. Well, this TAKES TIMES. Mistake often means you pay a price. Many years ago, I watched the Oprah Winfrey's chat show and an expert there put it so nicely. Forgive means you are NOT AFFECTED by a past event each time you think of it, BUT you cannot forget it. Forgive one's mistake is the step in the right direction, but it takes time and not as easy as it seems.

2) Mistake = growth. You can ask or imagine yourselves in a situation that you are allowed to do it again and how you would do it. This will help you see the way forward and feel more positive about the "mistake" you made, as you begin to see it serves some purpose.

As for me, if I want to "get over my perfectionism" and "get real", I would want to give myself times and space to "reflect". A great way to do so is bloggings. Blogs may not be "perfect", but I get over that, and it serves some purpose for me. There are others out that who decide to stop or temporarily stop writing blogs, such as this. It reminded me another important factor to get over being a "perfectionism", i.e., adjust your expectation. Have a nice perfect weekend, :D

A little "Identity Crisis"

"when a cow not look like a cow, a Giraffe not look like a giraffe and I don't look like me, ..... we need to find that back.... THE IDENTITY!"

I had a little "Identity Crisis" today. Next week is the beginning of the Easter holiday and I will be at a conference in Cardiff. I was not able to concentrate very well today preparing my presentation material. I know what's bothering me. My mind was taken away by the big question of "who am I?", "what suits me best in the long term about my research career". I was surfing the web like I used to do, but now looking for some academics that I heard or knew of, and then see their research profiles and ask myself if I wanted to be like them or do they act as "good enough" role model.

Yesterday I mentioned BI and feel his published paper make me "feel at home". Today, I came across PS, she was my external PhD examiner and her profile is even better. I saw in her published papers over the years to consist of topics of a wide ranging but within a certain scope. She didn't appear to run out of focus, so to speak. There are some 3* published papers and some 2* one as well. I look at them and I think, these are not going to be easy as it takes YEARS to build up, knowing her family commitments and kids, etc, she is just incredible.

I can also see some form of "strategies" she used in her research. Something I could also give it a go. She starts from something simple and she seems to know which approach or topic of research suit which type of journals. I believe she knew all these over times and this makes it even more efficient when publishing Journal articles. Maybe I should start thinking from where I stopped in my PhD and start extending ideas from there, maybe from my published papers and the journal they got published and see if it goes anyway? These should be areas I am more familiar with, including the literature reviews and their developments, which cannot be ignored in writing a paper. This should be a good starting to develop "own independent research". And so, by the end of the day, I found my "identity" back and THAT made my day, Yay! :D

BI still brings to me inspirations, ......

"In life, you win some and you lose some......"

I found BI's published paper on the web. This brings me back to my memories while at HW and the supervision under him during my PhD. I was really happy for him for that published paper. Before I forget, he had already been in HW for 14 years, and was not promoted, some say it was because he does not have publications. During those years at HW, he was not the most popular of all, people often have things that were negative to say about him. The only thing I could remember was the time he told me his supervisor passed away, he was so upset, especially when he showed me his research work that his supervisor so appreciated and impressed. BI came across as a really nice guy, but as he was my supervisor, it is not possible for me to see him in the similar light, since there are often issues about the way he supervised me and how I have to deal with it. It is not easy.

I also cannot forget how I had to make him sign off the document when submitting the final draft of my PhD, as if pointing a gun by his head. He just didn't give me the assurance and he is "all over the place". I just could not imagine how I managed to get through those 3 years full time, and 3 year part-time PhD under him. But now I am really happy for him to see him getting his research published, though that was dated 2009. I check back the website and can see that he had some new colleague joining the department, who were doing similar areas of research as him, which is all the better for him to pursue his research interest.

I have to say, up till today, I am still very fascinated by him, he has the deep knowledge of a certain research topic that made me appeal to him. I had printed out that published paper of his and would read at some points, and see how he built up the knowledge. As I was saying yesterday about "doing my own research", though BI's published paper might not be the area of research I am necessarily going to pursue, it is, however, a feeling telling you that you are reading something closed to your heart, and it also tell you, it is only worth doing things like this, such that it gives you a feel that the topic is something that makes you "feel at home". This will affect the way you think about the topics and how it develops and subsequently how it is going to be written.

BI was an inspiration during my time at HW, perhaps he was not experienced as a supervisor, and I become his experiment, but it does forced me to become better too, as I also have a paper published in a 3* Journal, but unlike him, I am the single author. Though every new paper submitted to Journal is a new beginning, but at least, I can be sure I can take good care of the whole research and paper writing process, something which I now had an experience doing so. Perhaps it is just a blessing in disguise having BI as a supervisor.

Life's simple pleasures

"Don't feel "guilty" engaging in life's simplest pleasure.. or does that matter at all?" :D

Take a small step back and ask yourselves what's bring a smile on your face. This interesting short article lists out the "101 small little things that add on to life's simplest pleasures" I picked a few of them that apply to me more.

A genuine compliment (giving or receiving)
- I told SP today that she is so sweet and I will bring her sweet when I am back from my holiday

Really great advice
- what is better than this, especially more so when it is short and sharp advice, and also when getting them indirectly, like my many discussions about research with WF

Swimming
- I love it when i float, breath, swim and coordinate my body movement consistently throughout my 500 metre swims.

Afternoon nap
- This is great and I often do that, :D

Puppies
- puppies grow on me, but tiger cubs do too, like this one, :D

The smell of onions and garlic cooking
- Don't get me wrong, I use garlic powder in mixing my food, together with chilli, herbs and some olive oil after my veggie are steamed, that way is healthier. I love the smell of the mixture of all these additions of herbs and powders when steaming my vegetables.

A spoonful of peanut butter straight from the jar
- I love peanut butter, especially those with the nuts, yum yum, on toast, tastes even better with sweet potatoes soups.

What are your little simple pleasures that bring a smile on your face?

Building Research Expertise

"There is really no short-cut to become an expert,...... "

I cannot help, but kept thinking about the issue arising from and related to the retirement of senior member of staff who are also lead figure in the area of research. Sometimes you do asked yourselves what would you want people to associate you with, twenty years down the road when you are "relatively more established". I agree collaboration with other experienced people or with better expertise would enhance your profile, but one really should not rely on that ALONE to build up a research career. So, do you know your area of research? how do you like people to start recognising you as your expertise.

One other reason why I am drawn to this, is also because I can "afford" to do so, as I have met my research target of 4 publications (with a 4* and a 3* Journals among them) for the next REF exercise. This means I have more times to build upon the quality of my research. I did give sometimes reflected upon my profile of research and realised from my discussion with WF that, one needs to be recognised in a certain field in the long term if one takes his research seriously.

It came to my mind many times in the past about building a diversified research profile consisting of research projects with others, and those that I worked on my own. And I think I really should start thinking seriously about "working on my own area" as building part of my research profile. I already have a paper published in a 3* Journal, so I think I can further that line of research to make it bigger and better.

There are a lot to think about when doing research, once committed, it is time and efforts invested for the next 18 months and that is no joke. Research is also about how you want to be perceived and what you want to build up as your expertise, something even more important that cannot be ignored to build up a successful Research Career.

Find your leader

"We live our life forgetting that we are all potentially charismatic people."

Today I attended two meetings because we are meeting up with our new head of the school to have discussions of the various issues surrounding us in teaching and research. Just as I believe the main purpose of the meeting for our BIG BOSS to know us, our concerns, issues, etc, I didn't expect that the anyone would come to some sorts of solution if any were ever needed.

One of the main issues facing the groups are about research and the retirement of senior members of staff. This seems to be the situation in most UK Universities at the moment, and not sure if the situation will be made worst by the cut in the government's budget recently. Our institution seems to be doing fine with good surplus over the year and the cut is expected to have the least impact on us. Anyway, the main thing about retirement is really about the lost of good leadership in the research field. There has to be some form of lead figures in anywhere one works. In research, it is more subtle than most, in term of the how things might turn out, and the more one should be aware of the consequences arising from the lost of a lead figure.

Academia is a trade that people are highly regarded by their knowledge level. For someone like me who is mostly regarded like a junior researcher, I would mostly "need a leader" or a mentor, so that I can grow, develop and become better. I don't want to think I am being disrespectful to my senior colleague, the truth is we all have a style and my style is such that, I want to spend time looking for a good and suitable leader to work with. That, however, does not mean I cannot do research independently. Having said that, I cannot guarantee that my research will "stand the test of time", unless I published in good quality 4* journal, then that will be highly regarded. At the moment, as I see the way I go, I maybe will do research in a way that contribute to providing incremental knowledge. I do what I like, believe in them, get them done and published, it will be a bonus to have a leader around. This is, however, something you cannot beg for it and the more you have to work independently or find a leader to work with, which is not a problem, so long you know what you want and what you are doing. :D

Sweet potatoes Soup

It's the weekend and I thought why not have some fun doing my lunch. So, I decided to make sweet potatoes soup with beans and barley. This is a very easy soup to make. But the truth is, the easier it is to do something, the lazier one becomes and nothing is done at the end of it. Furthermore, it is cheap to get dessert (Yes, the sweet potatoes soup is a "sweet" in South East Asia) like this in Singapore and even more so discouraged people to do it themselves.

I use a slow-cooker to make the sweet potatoes soup. I first peeled two sweet potatoes, cut them into small pieces and put together with beans and barley, and washed them. Then I pour water into the slow cooker to about 2/3 full and start boiling it with high heat. I didn't put any sugars at all. The mixture of sweet potatoes and beans are expected thicken the soup and produce a very refreshing taste together. It is not overly sweet and also has a nice under-taste. Sweet potatoes are also known to help mood lifting, so there are plenty of quality in it.

You need the sweet potatoes and the beans to be as soft as possible , so you really need a long time to boil in the slow cooker. You can just leave it on before you went out for your shopping, gym, etc, and when you are back after, say, 2 hours, they are ready to be served.

To make it more "exotic", I ate my soup with some peanut butter toasts, It feels like "east meets west". It tastes great and I enjoyed it :D

Shutter Island

"In Shutter Island, you "forgive", but not "forget".."

Finally, I watched "Shutter Island". Martin Scorsese is one of my favourite directors. The last film I watched by him was "Gangs of New York", which was disappointing. He actually only directed 4 films since 2000, including "Shutter Island". These 4 films starred Leonardo DiCaprio, who gave the roles in all his films the best performance.

A friend of mine told me that her boyfriend finds "Shutter Island" boring in the first 30 minutes and perhaps too slow. The critics reviews were mixed and mostly considered it as average. It is about an up-and-coming U.S. marshal Teddy Daniels assigned to investigate the disappearance of a patient from Boston's Shutter Island Ashecliffe Hospital and the mysterious events following his investigation.

I like thriller and even more so if the plot is unpredictable and "Shutter Island" is satisfying in that sort of way. I especially like Ben Kingsley in the film, who portrayed the mental hospital's chief physician. His acting is effortless, easily bring across ideas to audience about the characters and very convincing. The best lines of the film as follows:

Leonardo said, "I think it's time we leave Shutter Island"
Ben Kingsley said, "who are we?"
Leonardo said, "me and my partner Chuck"
Ben Kingsley said, "No you came here alone"
(err. Spooky!)

Maybe the film's title already said something, "Shutter", as in "shut", so a thought that comes to the mind after watching the film is that, bad memories and trauma cannot be lost or totally shut away, it can only be placed in a safe place in our head and be there as long as possible, untouched, just like some say, you can't forget, but you can forgive. What has that got to do with the film, perhaps you are guessing now, but why not go watched the film, survived into the second half of the film, you will begin to see the darker side of the story and will enjoy it.

The 5 habits of happy people?

"Are you obsessive about "being happy""?

It's a bit scary to think that you can even be obsessive with "being happy". I love to visit some site that talks about being happy and then asked myself whether they have overly emphasized/simplified "happiness".

Just look at this site, to use as an example, consider the factor of "Be thankful". It said ,"this is worth repeating again and again". I would say though this is correct, it varies from person to person, and how this relates to people. It definitely does not work to be thankful for the sake of being thankful. My experience is that there would only be "that many" people (people I am thankful to are special, so it cannot be too many of them) I am thankful to, because they made significant impact on my progress. I thanked them and I recognised their great personalities. The only reason why this would make me happy, is because they made me see the good and positive side of people. That made me feel hopeful. This sort of "happiness" derived is long lasting, and don't need you to have "too many of them" to be happy. The site also "helpfully" gives you a guide to help you create a gratitude practice, which I am not sure if it would be necessary. This appears to "trying too hard".

I, however, agree what the site talks about "Enjoy the simple pleasure". In a way, it relates a bit to what I had written before, which I would regard it as a form of a minimalist's lifestyle. I like it when it says, "think babies laughing instead of Porsches". Yes, babies laughing are so heart-felt and heart-warming. When was the last time you laughed that way, can you still remember?

What is "simple" to you, however is "not simple" to me because we have different standard. For example, I often love to "laugh out loud" on REALLY SILLY jokes, especially when I was watching "desperate housewives", which I would tempoarily forget about the sometimes, overly exaggerated story pots to have a really good laugh. Some of course think these are "low class" or "distasteful", but what feel so nice when you can still augh out really LOUD. You look inside you, and asked yourselves, what make your heart-strings vibrate the hardest and capable of making you laugh like a laughing babies. Is there any? If there is none, perhaps you are being too serious? But, the simplest of pleasure comes from there, and at that moment, you had just enjoyed some "happiness", so go find that! :D

Publisher's event

"Yes, I strongly agree, but does that mean anything to you?"

Sometimes, I feel i have the best job in the world. I get paid to go to special event organized by publisher. Publishers like to hear from our feedback about their books we used for our teaching. Today I went to London to attend one such event, along with colleague WF. The meeting also involve the author of the textbook whom some colleagues knew before, DH. When we arrived at the head-quarter of the publisher's office, which was based in Canary Wharf in London, everything presented in the room was like "state of the art" equipment, even the company mission or motivator statement was there about being individual, team and market leader.

The whole session of the meeting starts with DH telling us about the book, his motivation to do so, and we can see he SPENT a lot of time doing those. DH very smoothly took us through the whole process of his writing of the book and how he want to do it in later edition, etc, all appear to me very well organized and ambitious. In our discussion meeting, I also met lecturers from Warwick, Sweden and Switzerland.

I use DH's book for teaching, sometimes feel a little "too much information" and at times, not sure if he put himself in the shoe of the students. Often I used the textbook's examples, but put it down in a style to suit the students' level of understanding and my preference. I brought this up, referencing a competitor's' text, which some in the meeting also used, hopefully he see maybe helpful to him for his revised version of the textbook later.

I was actually more keen when come to the use of technology in relation to the textbook. There were questions given to the students end of each chapters. This helps us lecturers a lot because it indirectly gives students the advantage of "self-learning". What's more appealing however is the ability to track students performance on-line and the flexibility on the choice of questions I can release to students. Given that I have more than 200 students for a single course and given that I want to let them practice additional exercises, the way this works definitely benefits me. I can also draft up statistics on the performance of the students and let them know where they stand, compared to the whole group. They can use this to assess their standards and help them learn more effectively. This method of e-learning lessens my workload and also allows me to monitor them effectively, which seems efficient way of managing the whole progress.

I enjoyed the meeting today. What's even better is that, I brought my baby laptop on the road with me. On my way back, I find myself a little coffee corner in the St Pancras International Train Station , checking mails, suffering the web, writing my blog and with a cup of tea. I just felt the wireless technology has enhanced the minimalist's lifestyle interestingly, which is a fun and also very relaxing experience, :D

A "Horrendous" day!

It's a tiring day. I had a couple of meetings, and had some heavy discussions over matters that increasingly become important. I believe the way the school allocate work, benefits me in the long term. I think I am trying to get a feel about the "bits" that I need to do, and then mentally organise them, which is not a problem.

The "interruptions" that made my day a bit "horrendous" was actually the "start" of my day not "going on well". I woke up a bit early today, then went to sleep and then woke up a little later than I expect. So I forget about routine of making my dinner preparations in the morning and other dish washing task, etc. In the evening, I left office a bit late due to the meeting I had, and then going to Tesco to get that "7-day fresh brown bread" and other stuff, which strangely no longer seem to sell now in most nearer supermarkets.

By the time I reached home, it is already 8.30 pm, did all my housekeeping, dish washing, and then make dinner, by the time I finished my dinner and all, about 11 pm. I am very tired. Not the healthiest of a lifestyle and I hear Mom said, don't you eat your dinner so late. Out of good intention and I appreciate that. I guess I am not wrong to say a good day depends on how well a day begins, but perhaps a little flexibility could make the remaining of the day better and the day could end up nicer, just a little thought for future consideration if need be. Need to sleep now, I am too tired, yawn!

Do you know your "stress"hold?

"Bang your head, not your eyes. Leave them working to help you see the BIG picture later."

I can "feel" stress. It is a feeling of heaviness, mind crowdedness and more importantly impatient. These are of course based on my past experiences. We all need an outburst when feeling stressed. I do integrate some forms of exercising as part of my everyday life. Expert say such walking help reduces stress level in a person. I walk about 40 minutes a day, but at the end of it, I still have to deal with stress. I cannot run away from it. Perhaps exercise help you see stress in another way and allow you to come to a different form of solution to the stressful problem.

I find that there is an element of "fear" in every stressful situation I came across. This is the fear of the outcome and what could possibly happen to me. I believe combating fear is a way to reduce stress, and to make yourselves move forward ahead. But what is the feeling of "combating fear". I believe this is the attitude you hold about the certain event that stresses you, thinking strongly that it will be fine for you. This brings out the positive side of you and make you feel hopeful.

Stress can also be about trying to take on "too much at one time". In that case, we have to learn to take things easy, some say easy said than done, but I think we need "practice" here to learn to get used to this skill. Stress may be about being impatient because you wanted and you force things to happen the way you want it, which obviously is not always the case.

Handling stressful situation feels like walking on "thin ice", and it does seems like a do or die decision. I always think of my downside in situation like this, I would say, so come to the worst, I would do this, do that. And then if the worst happen, would take it the way it happens and starts it all over again. Stress could be like your friend, because it helps you grow. Too close to stress might make you snap, never forget to take a step back and see the big picture, it helps, :D

Had a good day?

"A good day depends on how it starts." :D

I find that completing tasks before time is good. You feel relaxed, at ease, take things in your stride, no worries as you have enough times on your sleeve, especially more so on a Monday. It felt as if "calmness" is finding its way to reach me again. I decided to go to office and I seemed to get things done quite quickly, without much hesitation.

I still bear some memories of the weekend as today is Monday, and so it should be hard to even want to start the day kicking. But last night, I read through my lecture material for tomorrow and get a sense of how to present them better. In the morning, I did that and zapped the 230 copies slide notes for tomorrow. It seems if it all started well beginning of the day, the rest of the day should work itself nicely. However, it does also depends on how the day ends too.

Writing and thinking

"...... you see yourself outside you, you get better perspectives and perhaps form a secondary opinion to an existing issue"

When I was younger, a lot younger, I dreamt of being a writer. I have an Uncle, who "coached" me on writing. I often wrote stuff and give to him for "correction".He was often very strict, and end up not being as encouraging as he would like. My urge to write, however, didn't stop. I start writing diary around age 13 and lasted 4 years and I stopped. I guess I was a bit bored and kind of find it "tiring". Writing diary is a good experience. It forced you to think, and more importantly, to express in word, which is a good training.

My current profession needs writing skill, i.e., writing for research to be published. The most important part of my past writing experience that benefits me is the "process of thinking" behind writing. Writing involved largely putting thoughts down in words, and requires good organisation, coherence and completeness. The more you do it, the more it becomes easy to apply to any topics you write.

I actually think about blogging after a suggestion from a colleague. The motivation behind blogging, however is a different one, though it still requires writing. This is a medium to get known for what you wrote. There is a chance you can get famous for things you wrote, some people aim for that when they write blog, as it should be in principle for others to see as it is in the public domain. I actually didn't think about all that when I decided to start blogging again. I wanted the whole blogging experience to be ABOUT ME. It is about my thinking, my reflecting and to some extent, my healing. When you put your thoughts down in word, you see yourself outside you, you get better perspectives and perhaps form a secondary opinion to an existing issue. This brings you closer to find a solution, if that is what you look for. Setting up the blog had spent me some times, however. I had my time spent on finding the blog theme and getting links, etc, though I enjoy that, I did move away quickly to focus on writing, which is what the blog is about.

I guess I am slowly integrating writing blogs as part of my life. I don't find writing blog entry a chore, when it is time for blogging. it just comes naturally. Blogging has been a rewarding experience for me so far, as it not only enable me to reflect upon my everyday life, but also allow me, after reading stuff I came across, to have a platform to put down my thoughts, which in a way broaden my thinking and encourages me indirectly to read more and to read even wider.

An accidental minimalist

"You get me wrong! I am a minimalist, though I am also lazy sometimes, hehe"

I am not sure if I am a minimalist. Even if I am one, I am one by accident, not by choice. Sometimes I am lazy and just "cannot be bothered" too many "unnecessary" things in life. I end up living "minimally" and happy with that. I might be in Loughborough for about 6 months now, I have not get a set of sofa in my flat, and I slept on mattress though it did come my mind at some points, I need a double bed or at least a sofa bed, but I am fine. :D

As you can do without the "essentials" in life, psychologically, this means some other aspects of your life should "take over". I think in this case, should be your spiritual perspective in life. I am not saying I am a religious person, but it is true that traditionally religious people such as Buddhist monks do lead a "minimalist" life (There are exceptions though, like this one, which I am not very sure. It's up to you to decide).

You do feel you "live life longer" that way because you are "digesting life" like the way you chew your food and digest them slowly and enjoy the best in them. I have to say, minimalist lifestyle is quite new concept to me. If I am considered as a "minimalist", I am mostly a "relative minimalist" rather than an "absolute minimalist", since people have different wants and needs, my standard of "being minimal" might not be yours. I guess as long as we find our "minimalist lifestyle" fruitful and that we are happy, it should be fine. There is no need to be something we are not, just for the sake of becoming one.

The winners and losers in Jack Neo's (梁智强) affairs scandal

"I may cry, but I will be the winner in the end."

Celebrities, such as Jack Neo who is considered as one of Singapore's most important celebrities in the film-making industry, are actually just normal people. They think they are different from others due to their status and then end up badly with their behaviours.

The video below is the 3 minutes press conference Jack Neo held to apologise about the affair. It saddened me to hear Jack's wife telling the media that she really needs their blessings. There is fear and insecurity in her words and tones. When she later asked for forgiveness from the media, not sure whether she meant that the media should stop speculate about her husband as she is willing to forgive and forget. The press conference was being criticised as being insincere and short, but it was later revealed in Jack Neo's blog he regretted his behaviours and willing to re-cultivate a happy and good family for his wife and children.



Love is no longer love when you find someone turns into a stranger overnight as you no longer know the person you share the bed with all those years. How much "value" can you forced down to help you maintain the union? I am not sure. I am interested in how Mrs Neo react to this, because similar cases appear to happen in the UK and US recently. In the US, Tiger wood 's affairs broke out affected his career. In the UK, one of UK's famous footballer, Ashley Cole, was separated from wife, Cheryl Cole, after she found him cheated on her, with up to 5 women. Mrs Neo is an Asian, but the other cases are in the western world. She is under immerse pressure and can be understood.

In Singapore, those girls who reported to media about the affairs with Jack Neo were being blasted, such as this one. Obviously, these unknown girls wanted to be famous arising from the outburst of Jack Neo's affairs. They might think they are the winners, but some call them sluts. In the UK, due to the interest in gossips and curiosity about people private life, tabloid's papers are often interested to pay lump sum for untold secrets to make story juicier. So as much as matters like this might be linked with "sluts", it is kind of "acceptable" over here. The readers read it like a pastimes, and not take it too seriously, it's not their life anyway. I am afraid Jack Neo's exes are not winners as in Singapore, people have different perception.

As for Jack's wife Irene, many think she should divorce Jack Neo and that she is the victim. But in the long term, she is the winner, she might win her husband back and get what she wanted a good and happy family. You can also call her a loser, because the way she deal with this, one day, as it is quite possible, she might accept the "way" Jack Neo is (given that if Jack Neo repeat his bad behaviour), and either she will be hated by most women or admired by other women, especially the wife of Jackie Chan, who seems to be having a similar fate like her. Of course, Jack Neo is a winner, he has his wife by this side, make him "feel wanted", boost his damaged ego and though he says he is guilty, want to make change, etc. It's really for all to see how far he can go.

As for us, the readers, we are the winner, free flow news, one after another, in front of the media, more exciting than Jack Neo's own comedy's film, what else can we ask for. The truth is, though it's his life, he will have his kama, and while we enjoy the story and have a laugh, perhaps it is also time we look more inside us, think more of our life, which are also often not as perfect (never mind Jack Neo's), :D

Research is Business

"You can be the engineer and I can be the architect"

I rate myself a 7/10 productivity level today "working from home". What I did mainly was sorting out the slides for next week's lecture and I am on my way to finish them. Perhaps a bit ambitious for a start, so I TAKE IT EASY later. At the end of the day, there are some accomplished and some undone tasks. There is always a tomorrow, but this is not procrastination, just maintaining a work life balance.

Now, the highlight of my day is supposed to be speaking with JL over the phone about our research. I spent one hour on the phone and one idea follows on to the next and they are so stimulating. I just like the style of JL. He is always clear and know what he knows and what he does not, that makes him an excellent communicator. When doing research, especially this is about knowledge, the more you need to know what you are talking about because you are trying to convey a message and they could be quite abstract. In JL, I see some mathematical genius in his gene that I longed I could have, still you think about it, Research is also as good as doing a business. You don't just know one thing to start a business. A business could fail because of poor marketing or management, so a pure marketeer or manager cannot start off business, he needs someone of a different skill.

I would say, my relationship with JL is a bit like an engineer and an architect. I obviously use some mathematical application in my other research, just that the level I knew is not as advanced as that of JL, owing to his clarity and excellent illustration and explanation, I know what he is getting at and from there, I follow on with suggestion and brainstorming which sometimes lead to something constructive. As an architect, I set the way forward. As an engineer, he built up the pipes and structural framework.

The firework between us is great and I am enjoying every minute working with JL. An idea arise today in our teleconversation, all because of something I only briefly suggested to him few weeks ago. He is really very sharp. Like I told my School Research Director the other day, looking for someone to do research with, is like finding someone that you can live for the rest of your life. JL makes me feel in every way a right person for research collaboration. Hope this develops well as it will equally benefit both our career progressions.

How to be productive again?

"Deal with the ups and downs of life as if enjoying the thrill of riding the waves on a surfboard"

I get a bit nervous when things start to appear a bit "better" than usual. Strange but true, it's a fact in life that things go up must come down, and we have to expect this in any aspects of our life. I did mentioned that Monday is my "work from home" day and I don't hate Monday. Now, following my Friday's lecture coming to an end, I have got more times, considering the preparation time for the material. It appears that "FREE" time has come, but this could be the beginning of a disaster for me. Well, it's all about adapting to a different "daily clock". You are so used to step 1, step 2 and step 3 for the past weeks when you have lectures on Tuesday and Friday. It just come to you automatically that Wednesday is the preparation for Friday's session and then weekend more for the following Tuesday's session. Now when it is not the case, you have to get yourselves to adapt and adjust to the new "daily clock".

Well, talking about procrastination and being organised, I think the ability to adapt to a new routine is also very important with regard to the "daily clock". We get too drained doing the previous tasks resulting in us running out of inspiration and hence productivity when facing the new task. But, how to be productive again. Here's what I think.

1) I supposed procrastination plays a role and should relate to it.
2) working from home which helps me concentrate can make me productive again.
3) Being organised contribute to productivity, but it is more of a necessary, rather than a sufficient factor.

Tomorrow is my "work from home" day. I am using that as a platform to start my new daily clock and routine on my lists of tasks. I am taking this easy, but not THAT EASY, not to the extent of becoming procrastinated. I think it is just simply the adaptation and adjustment to new tasks that make the difference.

The source of concentration - calmness

I was quite "awake" today, which was rather unusual. I didn't feel quite bored or unhappy before the lecture at 4 pm. There is some calmness in me (somewhere), I believe. My mind was quite "active" and wanted to "do some work", but I restrained myself from doing so, as I was waiting for the time to lecture and I don't want to disrupt what I was doing half way through. I was telling myself at the time I wanted to finish reading JL's draft, draft out exam questions and sort out the on-line link for students to do their practice exercises. I also have to look at a Ph.D. application, before Friday.

I also think of my former student's thesis and my suggested area of research that I like to do with him, so that's another task on the list. There arises a very clear sense of thinking, not crowded and also neat. At that point, I knew why. I believe it must be I had finished my final lecture last week for "company finance" and now have a sense of "surplus" and I wanted to "make good" use of it. Still, a sense of "calmness" dominated. I believe this should help (?)

Then I had my lecture and I finished it before everyone else, including me, fell and slept (I mean it's a 4 pm to 6 pm lecture and to maintain productivity, it is good to just give enough lecture for the sense of mental concentration). I had a brief reflection , considering the feedback from students during the lecture, I had a quick thought what I wanted to do next week, I cannot say I regained my "calmness" as quickly as I had wanted, but I know I am in good control, though those hell boys and girls are still quite noisy and I just have to get on what I was lecturing about in class. I hope the "calmness" is here to stay for me, as it is just the important thing to help me concentrate with whatever I do, either work or play.

Do you know your procrastination?!

"Plan less, keep an open mind, be more motivated, less procrastinated, up until your last breath, :D"

Sadly, we do, however, have to plan daily and our "open mind" sometimes cannot get us very far. I wrote that we should organize things we have to do at work, put them point by point, to help us remember to do them. And I just realized today this is not as straightforward as it seems. I am an organized person. I have two books that I cannot live without. One is a diary/planner. It lists down week on week every two pages, what's my appointment and work schedules. Another is, well, I think I would call it a scrap book, where I just list down anything needed attentions and not quite having times to address them immediately.

Sure, you put them down, you don't forget them and you do it every time, point by point. But, the problem is, if you procrastinate, those points will always be there. My scrap book therefore is interesting in that, it often has got lists of things that move from one date to another. It is good because it reminded me and ensure that I complete the tasks. The bad thing is that, it kind of not stopping you to be procrastinating, though it does not make it worst either.

Today, I read from my scrap book that I have to send two emails, one to visit a student on placement, there seems some "problems" on this one and the company demanded a second visit. Then I was thinking about planning my holidays and wanted to confirm on date of travel, etc, but could not get a good deal and also sorting out on the inconvenient train journey between Loughborough and Birmingham international airport. This at least I got it sorted now and an email was sent to my boss to ask about the paper work for leave application, which I was not quite familiar given my relatively new status in my institution. I also in the end drafted out an email to the company that I want to visit. It seems all fine now, but it just took me HUGE effort to do them. I am not sure is this the Monday effect or a sign of my potential procrastination

However, by the end of the day I was feeling great. finished photocopied all my 230 lecture slides to students and also receive an email from JL, the final draft of our paper before sending out to the Journal. I would have to take a final look at it. Perhaps I finished doing the easier tasks first before going to do the hard one, that way, you are more motivated and less procrastinated Still, I also rely on the "point by point" strategy in my scrap book. An organized way to help remind me of unfinished tasks so that as I move them from one date to another, I will remember and then finish them eventually.

The 5 traits of charming people

"I don't even have to search for charm, I just be myself, :D"

When you are younger, you obviously look better (than when you are older), draw closer to people, attracting people attention becomes "so easy". And your look becomes a huge percentage of your total charm, even beggar can also attract attention.

When you are older, some say if you keep well, you can look young, women or female friends around my age, I would say, they often look stunning and make me wonder what went wrong with my life. Anyway, new research reveals that you can now nurture your charm or at least you can cultivate these traits to have them. I mean, these days, everything is so "manufactured". People go all the way to get attention, so why not have a look and think about the 5 traits of charming people.

I guess we all share these traits in one way or another. Normally is the approach you take on a matter or deal with a person that says it all, sincere or not sincere, real or not real, time will tell if you are "charming". There was a very nice "charming" senior colleague in my former institution. People who know her for the first time will know her to be the way she is, i.e., charming, warmth and sweet, etc. A little deeper dealing with her will tell you the level of trust and credibility you can give her and next thing, you know how to expect from her, still she is polite, but then you realize this is all "for herself", to "showcase herself" and you slowly give her less attention. I think she might have confused "being charming" with "being vain".

Anyway, people do get wrong trying to be "charming" and the sad thing is that, they seem the only person in the world who didn't know about it. As you grow older, even it may be growing older and gracefully for some, actually you only left with charm, despite the increasingly "deteriorating physical and health conditions", unlike the young people. You do it wrongly and give the wrong impression, you actually have got nothing left, impressions do count, depending on situation, in a rather strange way, I think sometimes this becomes more important the older you are, especially when dealing with younger people, like for me as I normally would have to deal with people half my age. But the best bet is to "be yourselves", at time this is hard as there could be some "esteem issues" unable you to "act naturally" and let other deal with you "comfortably" and then you do all the "wrong" things thinking you are "charming", but actually you are not, :D

Turnaround a restless day!

"Stressed out, can't "rest", err, I feel the same, but heeheehee, I am not an egg :D"

How does it feel when you want to have a good rest and yet feel restless? I bet it must be the same feeling of feeling sleepy yet cannot get yourselves to sleep, frustrated! Well, it's the weekend and just exactly the way I felt. Not the sleep problem, but the restless problem. I begin to ask myself, am I expecting too much out of myself? what is it that I cannot let go? why am I still thinking of doing work, even on weekend? I started to think about what I did last weekend and what happen. That way, I am hoping it will get me somewhere knowing what went wrong last weekend and not let it repeat today. But, I also decided it's time for a little change. I think I had a thought about how to put my material together for my next Tuesday's lecture this morning, so this should be considered as something done and not being unproductive.

In the afternoon, I went for weekly shopping. But I make it different this time. I brought my backpack with me, thinking today I would buy more stuff than usual. I went first to bargain store and get myself some interesting chocolates, which I don't normally do. I took some times walk around town, found the weekend market stores about closing for business, then went to Aiken, didn't buy the veggie there, went to Somerfield, buy some good value/bargain rices and crisps, and met Kay, had a friendly chat with her and her daughter, then head to Tesco

At Tesco, I bought some reduced price strawberries (to be frozen for mixing in smoothie), sweet potatoes (to be used in my green/red beans soup), Greek Yoguart (to be used as a base for the smoothie) and milks. And I also bought strawberry cheesecake.

I went home after that, and decided that I am going to run a bath and I did, while getting my dinner ready. The bath was warm and nice and then after that I had my dinner and watch BBC's comic relief and I also watched Ant and Dec's push the button game show. I played some game on my PC too. So that was all I did today so far. Something certainly could be done a lot better if I dare "let go", i.e., put all work aside and just do anything unrelated to work and enjoy it, but small steps do count and I know I had some progress made today, :D

Expert said we should all have a time-out from technology at least once a week. "Try taking a full day off from technology. Turn off the TV, limit your email time, and turn your phone ringer to silent. Even a half-day off will cut down on stress and preserve your energy". I guess I need to get a time-out from work on the weekend. Something I have to learn to do slowly and see the meaning in doing so.

Collaboration

"Two brains better than one, let's coordinate and collaborate"

Friday finally! I had been busy dealing with entertaining guest speaker past few days, and almost run out of time to prepare for my lecture today. I even have to wake up a bit early to give time for some preparations. To think that today will be my last lecture make me feel good. Now that it seems I would have more time. I only need to spend two hours a week for lecture until end of the term. Woohoo!

I had been talking about research on the blog past few days and now is the time to start doing some. Currently having a couple nearly to send out, and I also want to start working on new topics, which will come as an early stage type research, so I need to get going. The HE research is also under-way. I get some data today from the library and send out to my collaborator. I hope to get reply from him soon, so I can move on to the next stage. I must say I have been lucky working with people who are themselves experienced and productive when conducting their businesses. I also had experience researching and publishing as a sole author, so I can work as a team and also able to work independently. You can say I am multi-skilled, but I am still learning, :D

At this moment, I do feel in control of most things. The reason being the teaching, that I have lesser hours now compared to the first term. I also don't have much contact hours with students, unlike in my previous institution. But, I do need to get into some sorts of new routine, so that I can plan stuff and achieve them by a certain pre-specified time.

I also realise every collaboration is different. It depends how your strength matched with that of the collaborator and how you divide the work. I slowly learnt working with people nearest to you is the most productive. Perhaps I should start downplay on working with people outside my institution, though sometimes this needs not be, like JL, who is a my former colleague, in which I still work with, but then, my collaboration started with him while I was still employed in my former institution. Working with other people is an interesting experience. It help you enhanced your skills and knowledge over time.

The Busness of Knowledge Building

"It's about thinking, it's not about research!"

Something good about my current institution is that when people discuss about research, they genuinely share with you what they think about research and not required you to do the same topic areas as them in order for you to benefit from the discussion. This is a very open minded approach. For example, I have been reminded by WF about my research not being "very finance" sometimes, and he will follow on to tell you what he thinks his research is about. And normally, if I reply with my opinion, he will be very supportive about it. Such discussion is good because it keeps your thinking cap on. Yes, it's about thinking and to be aware. It's not entirely about research, but will help you more perceptive and sharper in your approach to research, as you begin to think about what you want and what suits you best.

We had RW to our department to give a yesterday. I am not sure about the depth and speciality of his research or what he considers his research area to be about. But, as I can see, the strength of RW, as I told WF is that, I think he has a good sense of building knowledge. This helps him develop his research, step by step, one level over another and keep building on that. I think for any researchers, such approach of knowledge building is very important. It helps you to expand your scope and then develop as a niche in the end.

I also like to discuss with LM about research. He is so down-to-earth and very keen to share genuine and honest opinion. I am glad I am able to share research thinking and discussion with these fairly experienced colleague. Seeing them makes me think about how I want to develop myself and what I want to be known as 10 years down the road. It forces me to think about in what way I want to be associated or identified with in my research areas. This helps me carve my pave carefully every step of the way.

In any case, I am also glad so far, I had got a couple of opportunities in the current institution to have had discussed research with colleagues from other disciplines, such as operational research, which I am quite excited and hope to be able to work with them one day.

Less is more

"Turn your weakness into strength. Less is More"

I was already in this rather posh Indian restaurant having a meal for about 2 hours, with colleagues WS, WF, and guest speaker, RW, who presented a paper today on pay consultant and the determinants of pay for CEO. I just sat there and listened to what they said. I was quiet most of the time and said less than 10 sentences.

I would feel terribly uneasy in the past if I suddenly cannot find things to say. But I had learnt to accept myself as the way I am and get on with it. I later realised it is perhaps better that way, as it will quickly show you are "trying too hard" if you find yourselves acting under pressure.

Normally, situation gets worst if you are in a competitive condition, like during group interview. I later realised saying less gives you opportunity to be observant and perceptive Saying less encourages you to think before you speak. Saying less works to your advantage. Saying less makes one feel mysterious in other people's eye and draw attention to people. There you go, less is more.

The beggar (犀利哥) who become "a model"

"In the age of internet, even beggar can be famous, never mind Susan Boyle"

犀利哥 means "sharp brother". This is a nickname given to the guy on the left based on a Chinese website for his "sharp look" and "sharp fashion" and here's a English version of the story. He is a beggar found on the street of Ningbo, the northeastern of Zhejiang province, China. The video below shows how he was being approached and asked about where he comes from and some people wanted to help to bring him home. He does not appear to be mentally stable.

He was being spotted all because someone found the sight of his "good look", took his picture and posted on the website. It attracted huge followings, even the Japanese.

Some admirers even "copy and paste" him on some contemporary outfit with a tie, like the one shown above. Sometimes, we don't know whether our good intention will bring good outcome. But I am just not too sure those who took pictures of him in the first place are of "good intention", but luckily it looks like the beggar has been brought to the attention of the Ningbo Municipal People's Government. Help is now on the way to get this homeless man a shelter. So, in the end, those pictures of his does serve some purposes and hopefully brings happy outcome for this poor man.

A dream that costs £1

"If you can't remember your dream, make another one; life's long enough to have more than a dream, don't waste it!"

A former colleague told me he MUST spend £1 a week to buy a lottery ticket. It just shows how "dream"could drive people. However, I used to think buying lottery ticket is a "bad thing" because it is not a sign of "hard-working".

As I grow older and getting in contact with more and more shades of grey in my life, I began to re-think such values I had developed over the years, and now can accept people buy lottery and that it is not necessarily mean they are "not hard-working" or people wanted to get by using "short cut" (i.e., quick fortune and luck). I do appreciate now why it is more important to some people to buy lottery, perhaps it is a feeling of accomplishments in life that motivated them to pursue dream in other ways.

Today I read about a British couple who won £56 million lottery. As I read this I am increasingly convinced that I don't think I would ever win such large sum of money mainly because I am not a fan of lottery ticket as I don't have such desire. Don't get me wrong, if one day a bag of money come by my door, I still won't say No. But, I guess I also prefer a quiet way of life and to be honest, life at this stage is good enough not required any huge life changing sum of money. I have a sense of accomplishment and I am happy about it. I am enjoying the beautiful scenery at the moment and don't want it to go away too soon.