I am not paid to get angry

"I like to think that I can completely ignore the noise and concentrate on my lecturing,..."

Now I had given out the mock exam paper, the questions to practice, including my questions and those from the publishers. Then you get emails from students asking for answers. Well, the students are beginning to "ask for more" and then you think about how they were behaving in class, the noise, the disruptive behaviour in the lecture, and you tell yourselves you are not paid to get angry over here, still you cannot help being affected a little.

I think I was also a little tired today, and the students just too happy coming back from their Easter breaks. I have to say, I "lose a bit of ground" towards the end of the second part of the lecture. There were times I didn't feel I engage with the students and the noise got kicking in which is annoying and you heard among students, some of them go shhhhh (I like to thank the student(s) who did that, :D). Of course, that didn't stop the noise and well, I can only do so much and also being a little tired, and a bit "running out of inspiration" at that point, I didn't "find the energy" to react to those noise, and therefore I "lose my ground". Anyway, I got the slides explained in full and done my job.

I now only left with three 2-hours lectures with this course, including a revision lecture. I have roughly done my next week material, and should soon be getting on with the one the week after next. These two other lectures will not include any numerical questions or examples, the more I feel I would need some efforts to get them to pay attention. I can tell today the students are paying more attentions in the first half of the lecture, mainly because I mentioned the exam. This is exactly what one colleague told me about, you tell them the exam, they listen. Perhaps next year I could bring forward my discussion of the exam paper earlier in the weeks during the lecture sessions.

I can only say I had done my best so far for this course. I believe next week students will be given with the feedback forms for them to fill in my evaluations. I had kept a balance approach on how these students are to be supported, despite comments I am "too kind", but I think these are necessary as I only did this for the first time in this institution. I like to think that I can completely ignore the noise and concentrate on my lecturing, but at times it is hard and I should accept that and appropriately express this to the students, not necessary to cause strong outburst, as it won't do me any good, but we are not god, so it just lies in how we control the emotion and not let it affect our lecturing.