what's important come FIRST! :D

When you have a wide range of tasks to accomplish and not knowing which one to start, what is the way forward? The other day that was how I exactly felt. My whole afternoon didn't feel as if I accomplish anything. I didn't feel satisfying for those that I did for that day. It then struck my mind in the night when I read about this interview of Leo Babuta who talked about dong "the most important tasks, rather than all the busy-work that normally fills our day" So it put me back to perspective again, and I decide that it's time for me to prioritize what tasks to complete first and what's next on the list. It is really a common sense, but need some form of reminder at times for people to get back to their senses. These days I am spending times on research and teaching, filling in time in between for productive research work, which is becoming more and more challenging as it goes and naturally needs plenty of attention. So, yes, do what's important FIRST, before that, however, we just need a simple prioritization of our list of tasks, :ah! :D

Wishing for the happiness of others

I came across this article, "The practice of Metta Meditation! Looking at the site, it explained the meaning to be "a strong wish for the happiness of others." I am not sure it means feeling thankful for other people, but I think the basis is a different one here. I find this so called "Metta" thinking is about the "connectedness" with people. The feeling of empathy that occurred in you naturally about this person you came across, be it a stranger. I remember quite a while ago, I had on a few occasions before I slept every night, run through my head quickly recalling the people I met during the day, especially those that touched my heart by their friendly gesture or perhaps some dedicated people working in the shop or even your secretary that took care of little details and make your job easier, in my heart, I wish them happiness. It's strange how one's mind work and when it began to be crowded, it does not work anymore. And therefore, I had not been practicing this for a while. So, I am glad I read about the practice of Metta Meditation. It reminded me some of the values of my practices in the past, enabling me to find meaning dealing and connecting with people I come across in my daily life. Little things like this add to the feel of wholesome in one's life, the more this helps you enjoy your life. :D

in Nirvana or in hell?

Sometimes our emotion does go through quite a number of changes throughout the day. I somehow tell myself this will change and will pass, so no need to be affected by it too much. Obviously it is not always that easy to practice. This reminded me of what I had learned in "Buddhist Studies" that I took as a Religious Studies when I was in the secondary school. It said that when one died, there are 5 possibles states that one could end up. Two of them are Nirvana and Hell. Nirvana is a state being free entirely from suffering, while Hell is full of suffering. When asked about how does being in hell or in Nirvana feel like? Buddha says that it is the way you live your life. Obviously, that explains how emotion change from one time of the day to another.Sometimes,when I am able, when I didn't feel things go right in certain time of the day, I know that is going to pass and I just take it a little easy and it affects me lesser and I slowly become free from it. This is a lot to do with our own cultivation and practice. But to be in Nirvana or in hell, perhaps it is also a state of mind.

Loneliness as an inner darkness

 "Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." -- Carl Jung

I was reading about the LKY's interview with the New York time couple of weeks ago and I cannot help feel sorry for LKY about his feeling and situation of life at the moment, having a wife suffering from stroke and who already cannot speak, but only able to communicate through body language, it is just sad. This interview was very different to all other interview LKY had in the past. It shows the softer side of him, a more human side of him. I feel at that instant, even the Greatest leader in the world or the founder of the Republic of Singapore can have moment of loneliness that perhaps only he understands, the moment he thought of the past happy memories with his wife, for example.

Reading this interview of LKY that shows the rare side of him leading me to think about our very own "dark side". The word "dark" does not sound very nice, but it is those "dark" side that allow us to "look into ourselves" and know ourselves a lot more, yes it is very lonely, but it does not matter whether you share with other people, because it could become so personal and fulfilling moment for you, as you also began to see the lights.

back to basic

As I begain writing blogs few months back, I also learnt the environment in which the blog writing platform works and I learnt ways to make it for me to allow me to get the best out of it. There is an interesting option on Dashboard that allows one to list out links that one likes to follow or be updated. This is good because it reminded you what had changed since the last time you visit those blogs. It is similar to checking the "inbox" for "new messages", so I am finding this helpful especially if you don't visit those blogs a lot and still want to ocassionally be informed of new article, for example.

Yesterday while I was on Dashboard, I found some new updates on lessoninlife.com, one of the site that I linked with. And it says, "the 3 words that solve 99% of your problem".I find this intringing and starts reading the article. This is actually a very thought provoking article. It says you can always solve the problem by "going back to basic". I guess when you are under pressure, you seriously "cannot think straight". Often, the way out of this is not as hard as you thought. As you begin to calm down, you get clearer and the obvious solution just finds its way out. It is simply calming down and clearing up your thinking process. For example, like I had read before somewhere, one would expect to be very nervous and find things "all over the place" when you came home one day finding your home has been robbed, but after a while, you know what's the best things to do, yes, report to the police. So, I am thinking what the article claim to be "back to the basic" could be a battle of mind over the heart, rationale fighting and winning over the emotion.

5 "mistakes" YOU should make

 "Some mistakes are just too costly! Oh No!" :(

Hey, no one's perfect. He who believe he made no mistake is the most miserable person in the world, let not the person be you. Happier people made mistake as they "find themselves" in those mistakes they made and become wiser. You can be one of them. So, there is this website that list out the 5 main mistakes. Here's 3 of them it talked about. 1) Totally embarrass yourself. If you dare laugh at yourselves. You are perceived to be of "a character". And you are just "so real" and people love you for that. 2) Be willing to fail - do something you love. It's important to follow your heart, because for whatever you do then, the passion in you supports you through, and while you may fail initially due to unexpected situation, you are likely to go on, so do those things you love.


3) Carelessly put yourselves at risk.  No one said you have to know 100% of the information before you go ahead, I am not saying you speculate or gambling. Rather it is when facing decision on taking a job offer or trying out a new hobby, etc. Like what the article of rightly put it, "most of the time, a high risk situation won’t kill you, because you are stronger than you think. And it’s never a bad thing to be reminded of that". We cannot avoid making mistakes, and don't want to "make mistake" for a reason, but some of the "mistakes" are not really mistake, it's just part of the learning experience, get over it, everything will be fine later! :D

Who would say NO to a FREE meal?

"...... of course, unless if you are a fish. :D"

I am a bit under the weather last few days and start to cut back on meeting friends or going out, so I end up spending time at home with parents and doing some stuff on the web. I recalled people that I met last one week and count those who "paid" for me when dining out, like with my former lecturer. There were quite a number of them. Mom didn't like the idea of "being treated" for dining or meal. I think the Westerners will normally graciously say "thank you" to that. Traditionally, I think Asians or those more conservative one, regards "being treated" for meals as a sign of "people belittles you", so one must "return" that. As a result, people like my mom who detest such idea, think that is paisay (i.e., embarrassed) to have people treating you for something. I think this is an "attitude" issue. I didn't beg people to do the same to me, it's happen and when people do that, they are happy to do so, unless people do with an ultimate motive, which can be quite obvious from the start, and for that, I will stay away or avoid, but these are quite rare, how would one say no to someone want to give you a treat?! :D

The other days, a friend was telling me about vides and how they are magnetic and attract people. I then began to think about my vides and how it "attracts" people to "treat" me. Well, I am borne in the year of dog. Dogs are generally likable and they are man's best friend. I like to think that, perhaps these are the two qualities that attracts people around me. However, dogs are also great assets to man, like they guard doors, lead the blinds, hunt the dead, etc, so as long as "keeping an account balanced" is not necessary, as in, the person who treats me lunch, expects me to return the treat, I (i.e., dogs) am quite hamless and friendly, except a bit needy at times. LOL. I don't believe in keeping the accounts balanced, though I try to do so as best as I can, but somehow find it hard especially "repaying" to a senior as I don't know how to handle it when people, especially a senior becomes very "persistent" and "decline my kindness" to repay. To "compensate" for that, I normally would pass the "good deeds" forward.

I had a call today from a toastmaster friend, who suggested that we go for a meal on Friday with his family and friend, and that he openly says he will buy it for me. I told my mom about this and my mom told me me a junior should treat the senior. I told her, in that case, if I got chance, I will treat my junior peers then, students, friends, relatives, etc. Yes, like I said before, passing the "good deeds" forward and more people will enjoy the "fruits" and that should "balance things up". :D

Cabin Fever

Today is a typical day as if "working from home'. I worked on my research all day, spending time on the Excel spreadsheet and not leaving the flat. In the UK, this would have been bad as 'too isolated' could cause 'cabin fever". You could go bad just like Jack Nicholson in 'Shining'. Watch the Trailer and imagine what "cabin fever' felt like, scary huh? :D



In any case, it also rained almost all day. And it poured, unlike those rains I experienced in the UK, as if spitting. Actually, 'doing some work' is good during the holiday as it helps "holiday-work" balance and allow you to feel 'in touch' and 'control' on your research. Of course, you are enjoying this as you find good spirited moods taken over your emotion following you completion of a certain set of work, and then to leave some for later, :D

Healthy food/healthy living is an option

".. but we do have a choice, and we make choices."

Met my Friend LX at JCoDonuts at Bugis junction. Really like this coffee/Donuts cafe. It located at a rather cosy corner and has its own unique character. The website introduces its business and has a section on healthy ingredient. LX was a secondary friend, who is now pursuing a PhD at Australia, doing a topic on Education. I remember LX told me that fruits were really cheap at Australia, and he even bought a fruit juicers and going for a healthy living style. However, he will be back to Singapore following his expected completion of the PhD by end of the year.

We went for a walk nearby after finishing our coffee. The weather was very hot and humid, a total contrast to the cool environment in the cafe. Bugis areas are often very crowded with stalls situated along pedestrian walkway nearby, and there is a market place nearby, in which "fast food" style local dishes were served, you can "eat in" or take away. I remember now each of such stall is classified with governmental approval of "cleanliness and hygiene' standard, either A, B or C. Interestingly in the UK, I don't remember we see this, perhaps there were not very many such outlet, though takeaways are quite common. What however is practiced in the UK, is the food labels highlighting the food nutrients in term of sugar, fat and salt mainly. See the website here. UK has serious problem about overweight and especially among the men. Has any research about similar situation in Singapore been done yet?

I kind of feel that, I cannot imagine the Singapore government doing the food labels like what the UK did, because if that is the case, a lot of food stalls will have to close down, many things in Singapore like those you find in Bugis area, are nice but sweet stuff and what's more Singapore is famous for it's food. It is a food paradise, where do healthy option stands here, nowhere to be seen really. Foreigners visiting here is fine, tasting food like this once in a while is fine. If you live in Singapore, you are often surrounded by tempting and tasty food, healthy food/healthy living becomes an option but for some, they don't even have a sense about healthy living and sadly, only know the importance after problem arise like high fat, high blood pressure, etc kicks in.

whether you are happy..

"it worked out quite similarly like a zero-sum game"

I met two friends today. Both were my High School's mates. I should say both are of different stages in their career too. ZW is now a VP of international Sales in a Major MNC firm, while KH, still seems to me, finding its way getting a grip of what he is best at. All of us are of the same age. It is often easier to open up and share with friends of the same age, as we share similar things a lot more than others. As we open up the conversation, I realise a bit more about their attitudes and what they value. ZW, as far as I remember, inspired to have their own family, wants to settle down and have a good career, by the time he reached xx year old, which I think he already get it now. As for KH, he seemed to have up and down for the past few years in his life, which unfortunately, I was not being updated about, but that was also because I was not close with him, job change, sales of his business and divorce, all seemed drastic to me.

I am also lucky to have found my footing after all these days. There are obviously pros and cons in the UK compared to Singapore. Taxation is not something my friends like, but pension scheme is something not everyone understand. Pension crisis happens everywhere affected by factors such as aging population, and so is Singapore, and that should not make a different. KH also commented the high rank pay of professorship is "not very high", but I supposed that is depending on exchange rate and what one is looking for.

At one point, ZW even suggested I come back to teach in Singapore. SIM, ploy, etc, which I was not too sure because they are not really proper University. I find KH needs some solid speciality for him to excel in his career, which I also suggested to him. At the end of the day, you win some and you lose some. It worked out quite similarly like a zero-sum game. It is where you are and where you worked and whether you are happy, that matters.

Au Revoir Taipei (一頁台北)

I will postpone today's interesting meets with my friend till tomorrow. This is because I cannot forget the movie poster I saw yesterday while visiting the Cathay Cineplex with M. It seems delightful and sweet. It says on the poster, the title to be "Au Revoir Taipei" (i.e., Good bye Taipei)

I quickly check this up online and find more information about this film. This movie has won a few awards already including the Best Asian Film in the latest Berlin International Film Festival and another award in Paris. I often look forward to what the Taiwanese film maker produced in their latest movies, especially the young and the up and coming ones. They normally made films without much of a baggage and can handle the theme in an orginal way and so is this film. I don't want to give too much away, but the following gives the trailer and a brief film review provided here



Oh and I like the theme song too. It nicely integrated guitars and piano and reminds me of a comptenary jazz and also felt very European. Here's the theme song (not an MV though, but you will like it, I am sure)

The Anchorage

"She is one of the few people who know me a lot more than I know myself,...."

I am writing my blog now with the fan behind me turn its head right and left, left and right, as if showing the disapproval of the Singapore's weather, just like the way I felt. I met DL at the Anchorage this afternoon, modern shopping mall in the town area. DL is one of those friends from my University's day who did brilliantly for her career. She is one of the few I knew who has now taken senior management role and she can still tell me she finds no potential and want to find some more challenges elsewhere, despite earning an impressive 6 figures annually, anyone should feel jealous of her.

She is one of the few people who know me a lot more than I know myself. She taught me what it meant to be "perceptive" by claiming I am one and letting me later to find out more about this and excel in it, how charming is that! :D We were talking about the good old University's day and brought this up and had a laugh. That was like more than 15 years ago now.

DL might appear a bit aggressive and ambitious for her own good, by the way she describe to me how she deals with situation at work, but she is never untruthful, as direct and as honest she is and never failed to come with an air of charisma that you cannot help not notice it. She had three children, suffer a miscarriage of a pair of twins and nearly having a breakdown, and here she is, like she used to be and will be as always, full of energy. It was really nice having able to catch up and see her again.

Dubai International Airpot

I have been in Dubai now for about 6 hours and the connecting flight to Singapore should be in an hour time. Then, there will be another 9 hour or so to travel. I am quite impressed with Dubai international airport and the excellent facilities it cater to the travellers. The airport is so modern and really international. Travellers came all over the world and you can interestingly see many Asian people, including those mending the shops and the stores.As this is a country in the UAB, it was also very common to spot travellers with their traditional costume and mostly in huge families, as you would expect.

This is one very tiring, yet enjoyable trip. My connecting experience has never been this satisfying. Even developed countries like the UK have to charge for the use of wireless in Airport, and mostly with bad connection, what I had experienced in Dubai Airport has certainly something the developed world can learn, that way, it will attract travellers even more.

The food was nice. We have chance to taste a different kind of cuisine, spicy Sri Lankan fish curry with local chilli and lemon rice, yum yum!:D The spicy taste just felt so authentic. I also like the whole air flight experience. the in-flight screen is a lot bigger because the plane cleverly design a folded tray which save lots of spaces for a bigger screen, and I watched the ghost writer and enjoy it.

What's more, you can even charge your mobile as it is equipped with USB port and also some seats come with power sockets. Perhaps this is a new plane and maybe a lot of other planes of other airlines had already done so. Anyway, it's time to prepare for check in, :D see you later

The journey is more interesting...

"... than the destination"

Tomorrow this time, GMT I should be about landing at Dubai. This will be the first time I am connecting at Middle Easts. the whole journey will start from me catching a bus from Loughbourgh to Leicester at 8.10 am and later taking a coach there straight to Birmingham international Airport, in total about 2.5 hours, plus the waiting time. I always have a list next to me before I left for a trip. I don't want to be too forgetful and want to be effective, so the followings are the items on the list




1) Remember my battery and battery charger for the digital camera
2) Switch off all the switches, and switch off the digital FREEVIEW boxset
3) Bring my toothbrush
4) Close the window
5) Keep the laptop and cover the wireless router with newspaper to prevent hot sun from heating it too much

Bringing toothbrush for me is the most important. If I don't have this, and then if I have to eat, I would just feel like I am eating rubbish, if you can imagine. This will also be the first time I am taking an afternoon flight at 2.15 pm. If I travelled by KLM, then that will be normally be at 9.15, flying straight from Amsterdam to Singapore direct. The first leg of the journey is shorter. But for Emirates, the airline that I am travelling with now. It will have 6 hours for its first leg, then 6 hours connection time and later final 6 hours for its' final day of the journey. An entirely different sort of experience, that I really look forward to. An interesting quote I read somewhere describe life as a journey as follows:

"All of life is a journey which paths we take, what we look back on, and what we look forward to is up to us. We determine our destination, what kind of road we will take to get there, and how happy we are when we get there." But, I always believe the journey is always more interesting than the destination, just like the way life is or perhaps when you reached your destination, you begin to search for other destination and then another journey will begin which will take you into the unknown and excitement, embrace all of them :D

Chilling out

"... I supposed chilling out is also a state of mind...."

It's a day I spent "chilling out". This is actually a bit hard, because you only have the laptop screen to face every day after coming back home. When I said "chill out", I mean I try to move away from the laptop a bit, which is hard. Then, you start thinking, maybe you should do something different, like not surfing the research related information. Well, I supposed chilling out is also a state of mind, which makes it even harder. Perhaps change an environment will help you chill better? Anyway, whether I have to chill out or not, it is like a routine already that I get out at least once a day, especially even so on the weekend since I will not be in the office. I went swimming in the afternoon and later went to the library and passed by the Queen's park, which is a bit crowded, but I like, and the weather so lovely and the breeze so cool. I believe this will be the thing that I will miss most when I am back to Singapore next week.

The library was cool and I had a good time searching the book I want to borrow, finally decide on "The Oxford Murders". I heard this book is now a movie starring Elijah Wood (Lord of the Ring). It looks like an interesting story where the murderer left "mathematical clue" each time he/she killed someone. I planned to bring this book back home to Singapore, and the librarian has even kindly extended the return date of the book, so that I can save the trouble having to renew it during my holiday. Later I went home, and the weather still felt so lovely and cool, then I shaved my hair and had a shower, made myself a couple of peanut toasts and a coffee. I just felt like I was "chilling out" and I am enjoying it :D

My Last Saturday before I travel back S'pore

"......perhaps it is just me expecting too much...."

This is the last Saturday before I head home next Tuesday. My normal usual self expect that I clear as much as possible before I left here. I have a list of things to do. Get my DvDs, charge my battery of my laptop, burn my workfiles all on DVDs, etc. One final thing I like to bring back is a couple of novels just in case I get really bored. There are some excitements, but also fear of possible disappointment for not being able to get the most of my holiday, perhaps it is just me expecting too much or a bit of a perfectionist, I guess.

I have been wanted to send JL something about our next project, so I really should start doing some search tomorrow. Today I did some stuff for LLY, spent whole lots of time trying to figure out where my spreadsheet gone wrong. I kept writing notes and taking down points that I might have missed, all are rather tedious, but thank god, at the end, I get some expected findings, which I am pleased. I should be able to re-organise a new datafile for LLY for her to "train" them using neural network programme. Tomorrow must really get a bit more stuff organised. I always have to remind myself this, and then in the end, you don't find yourselves in situation as bad as you had thought, phew! :D

What's the BIG things in June 2010

休息是为了写 更 多的 blogs! :D (a good rest is for the sake of writing more blogs!)

I think it's time I come back. I wanted to give myself a one month break on blogging each time I finished 100 post entries. My next "one month" break will be when my blog post entered at 200th . Interestingly, this coincides with the whole of the month in June for my break. Additionally, the break is a good time to reflect and reinvent. So, just watch out the design of my blog, it may change again. What happening in June? Here's some highlight

Work with JR - I finished my research paper with JR. He is now looking at it and hopefully when he finished his part, I will do mine quickly and then off we go, submit it to a 3* journal. So, I have one task down.

Work with JL - Unfortunately, we received a rejection from a 4* journal for this research with JL. JL, however, was as positive as usual and very encouraging. So, we are going to meet in August in Edinburgh to discuss a bit more research and other topics.

PhD supervision - Finally, I got to interview a potential PhD student. It went well and both BB and I think the student has good potential. An offer has sent out to her, and we really hope she accept the offer and can start in October. Her mathematical skills complement very well with what both BB and I did with our research, in a way that we can come in handy for her to give her the necessary support.

Exam marking - Oh, and I cannot forget to mention this. I marked about 330 scripts in total. I have never marked so many exam paper at one go. Thank god, the mark was well distributed and hopefully the external examiner won't give "sour grape" remark like he did last year. As yesterday was the external exam board meeting and nothing was heard by end of it, I believe it's been fine.

New research - Apart from JL, JR, my collaborator now include LLY, who is my colleague and also a computer scientist and specialised in neural network. We had quite a long chat last month about how her knowledge can be used to predict "buy" or "sell" decision in stock investment. I was interested as it coincides with what I did about active currency management. Today I met her and show her my data and the discussion shows some potential for further research which I am quite excited about.

Meeting with JW - Finally, I made a trip to Nottingham to visit JW. JW was my PhD colleague while at HW. She now taught in Nottingham Trent. She showed me around her 12 Billion pounds office building, which was amazing. We went for a Chinese buffet later and I would like to thank her for the treat. And comparing Nottingham and Leicester, both near to Loughborough, I think Nottingham feels a lot posher, and I love the shopping outlets. The high street brands, H&M, Topman and River island are all there. The shopping area are located so near to train and bus stations, making it so much easier to move about when it's time to go back.

Visit Singapore - Yes, I am going on holiday back to Singapore from 6th July to 6th August. I normally meet old friends when I am back, but as one friend so rightly put it, I believe I will get bored after two weeks or so, therefore, I am looking forward and strangely, also not that look forward, but a change once in a while is always nice. I am slowly making contact to meet people now, even before I am back to Singapore. I don't like the way I do this, I didn't feel very organised, but due to the time constraint, meeting friends sometimes appear quite in a rush and not serve any purpose, but then again, meeting up is always good, though not always you find the meeting really meaningful, can't help to think it is like "meeting for the sake of meeting". Anyway, I believe I will have some more to say about this in my blog at a later date

email @ 5.23 pm - Hey, I am quite happy about this email, not going to give too much away, but sometimes worth a try as it is an opportunity. Will update again if anything actually happened with regard to the email, watch the space.

P/S: thank you to those who read the blog post past few days. I know who you are and thanks for the support. Many many thanks! :D

over-ambitious

".... because I not necessary know how they do what they do...."

I have been soul searching for a bit past few days about my research, thinking if I am being over-ambitious. I have been reading about few areas of interesting topics, and had intention of "going solo" on those, i.e., working on my own and eventually to develop as single author papers. However, though I may know some of the papers why they do what they do, I not necessary know how they do what they do. That caused some problems for me. Even if I then how they do the stuff they do for their research, I need to be convinced the way they do it, if not, I don't know what my research contribution. Luckily, I am resourceful. I cannot do this certain area, does not mean there is nothing else I can concentrate and focus on. I had a little thought about it and quite quickly get back on track, and knew the way forward, which I am glad. Then I carried on doing the stuff with JR, which is about coming to the end for my first draft. We have a story there, but need some final touch up to make it look more plausible, then it will be up to the reviewer to decide if that is a good story, hopefully it will be. But, as I said before, every new paper sent to a journal is a new beginning, so never overlook anything.

"It's good to come to London"

"Yes it's true.."

"It's good to come to London", I said to AV this afternoon in the company that employed her, in which she was placed to do a 12 month industrial attachment. I didn't find anything "tricky" between her and her manager and thought they went fine and was quite ready to settle it that way. And then she added, "since you come this far from Loughborough to London, you must well, .......", I immediately knew what she was hinting at. Something that I increasingly learnt here is that, never gave out too much, as the more others will expect of you, even students. So I actually prepared stuff ready to tell her and as she pointed out, and so I discussed it further with her, what was expected of her for the dissertation and report, etc.

I finished the placement visit for AV in 30 minutes and then I left for The British Lending library. The library was very modern and wireless and as I took my baby laptop, I was able to go online and surf the web, and checked my emails. As it approached 4 pm, I made my way to "Pret" at St Pancras international in which I made an appointment to meet SG, my former boss. We had long chat about most things, and it looked like she quite like where she is now in Queen Mary's University of London. We also chat about research. SG is one of the few academics that I knew of, that I would consider as open minded.

She told me she is currently working on Japanese Corporate Governance with her PhD student and already there are 3 papers in the pipeline. She also has another research about post-colonial Botswana and as she spoke of this, I told her I am doing a paper about Singapore housing market and it all begins with the post-colonial Singapore, where the government was planning to re-shape the economy. My paper discussed the story of the housing market and its development. SG listened with interest and even asked to have a read about my paper, which I will definitely send her in the email.

One thing I like my job is that I get to travel to the capital for placement visits, workshop, conference, etc. In fact, I might come back again middle of June for another one-day workshop on "mutual funds industry". And then I get to meet up with friends and former colleagues and we catch up and update on latest development. I left London about 6.15 pm, felt that I had spent my time fruitfully in London. Yes, indeed, as I told AV this afternoon, it is good to come to London and it's true, not sure if she gets the irony of that, hehe. :D

While I was waiting, ....

"... this is not the tail of the dog, rather the tail (risk) of hedge funds..."

She came at about 5 pm, and I waited her for about 4 hours in total. The visit was a quick one. She took the pad, asked me few questions, including, "so how long you plan to stay here". I told her, long term I supposed, why you asked, is this because the owner wants to sell the flat. then she said, no, no that is just the routine. Fine! Then she walked round the flat, which was well kept and tidy (as usual) and 15 minutes later, she left. I was like the last flat she visited today and as I heard her singing on the way out, I just hope that she is really happy about the visit, rather than I am the last flat she is visting for the day.

I didn't totally waste my 4 hours while waiting. I was surfing the web mostly, searching for information on statistical test that seems not able to be executed on SPSS. So I called the University's helpdesk and they said perhaps the "mathematics education" department can help. It is interesting that they have an in-house statistical drop-in/consultancy session, so I booked for a time to meet one of the guys on Thursday. I also did some search and find all sorts of story about "tails" which I am sure JL will be very interested. It's quite funny the way they relate the statistical theory to "tail", which make sense. This paper that I read and found quite hilarious, "the tail that wags the hedge fund dogs". I cannot help laughing. This "tail" is about "risk", this is an area of research that I am currently doing. Just that, this is not the tail of the dog, rather the tail (risk) of hedge funds. :D

"Eventful" events (1)

1) Toothpastes - forget to buy one yesterday and forget again today when I walked into Somerfield this morning, guess I must brush my teeth with my finger now , lol

2) Freeview box(es) - I called Morag this morning. The few freeview boxes she sent me aren't working well to update the teletext. UK will be fully digitalised in time to come and it seems reception in some areas are still not working well, sigh!

3) Student meeting! - I met two students today and spent a total of one hour on each, going through stuff they aren't sure. I hope this won't happen too often. It will eat up my research time

4) Surprise email - received an email from YKP, my former math lecturer from uni. I didn't see him for long time, so I should arrange to meet him for lunch in July when I am back to Singapore, not sure how his kid is doing.

5) Subject group strategy meeting - I seemed to find that things are fine at the subject group area in term of research, as far as I am concerned. I actually felt I can engage better with this group of colleagues compared to those I met elsewhere. I even crack jokes and had a laugh. I think I am relatively less shy with this group of colleagues and dare to speak up.

6) House Visit - clean my bathroom and kitchen yesterday and now await for house visit by the agent tomorrow afternoon, so I must vacuum my living room in the morning.

7) Placement Visit - brought the file for placement visit home. Must read them before the visit on Wednesday. I also fixed appointment to meet SG, my former boss, to have coffee at St Pancras International. I really looking forward to see her to catch up with latest gossips in the academia.

8) Weather - Well, yesterday was the hottest day. I heard it will be a bit colder, temperature will be a bit down next few days, so must put on more clothes

The Coolest Summer Breeze

I was pleased the other day for completed 100 posts, YAY! I took a break to slightly reflect and "celebrate" hehe. I found that now, I decided to follow my heart. If my heart say, yes I am still keen with writing the blog, I will go on, if not, I will just stop and reinvent myself somewhere in the cyberway with another identity and finding my new mates again.

Well, today is the hottest day of the year in the UK. It was 27 degrees mostly throughout the day, and at this moment 19 degree. I didn't work too much, only in the morning where I tried some literature search/reviews on certain new areas. Not bad, I had some nice "findings". I went swimming in the afternoon, which was really really nice. The water was so cool, except that I wish the pool could be outdoor. Then in the late afternoon, I was mostly cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom in preparation for the home visit by the agency next Tuesday.

I felt so relaxed after that, finishing the cleaning, doing my laundry, and then watched "Britain Got Talent". Surprisingly, "An Audience with Michael Buble" was up next and I stayed on to watch. I always think Michael Buble is a very talented artist. He sang so gently and charmingly and his performance never disappoint. His sense of humor often impressed me and his effortless style make him forever so unforgettable. He did come across as the coolest summer breeze. I like to finish this blog with one of my favourite tune of his, "You don't know me" originally sang by Ray Charles. Enjoy! :D

Quality times

I worked from home today and this time it felt so different. I was writing a book review and I will be paid for that. I also worked on research with JR. The weather was great. My flat felt so warm and lovely and with the sunshine outside, it really motivated me. As I thought back, I felt I really had some quality times doing those tasks which I was quite pleased.

Research with JR - I finally got down to the issue I needed some attention. This means I must get some additional information from JR and that the final result will be slightly different to that found in JR's dissertation. It also felt a lot easier now that I adopted the note-writing style of tracking my thinking in the research process. As I wrote this, it reminded me of the research tasks I needed for tomorrow. They will be at rather earlier stage and involved lots of searches. Normally, I tend to enjoy a bit more on research at an early stage as it is more like sourcing for concrete ideas and always looking for potential of scope.

Book Reviews - I did two book reviews this week. All of them are on topics of a good familiarity. I even use of the textbook in my course in the past. At one point, I was thinking perhaps one day I could write my own book. that seems like a "good thing", but as WF will tell you, it adds no value to research, as books get outdated and it is only research that is "updated". But if you manage it well, you can do so and still being research active, so book review is a good start to help you see how others write their books since you are the one giving review, this gives you insight into the various challenges facing writing a textbook.

Those "dramatic" characters

Today I attended the School research development meeting, only 18 attended, but it was a very interesting meeting. I am beginning to see some funny sides of my colleagues and there were moments of good laugh and I had enjoyed it. The meeting was productive. We were asked to contribute to some questions about what we think is our strategy, long term vision, values, etc. We discussed about the "non-negotiable". Here's some observation of some interesting characters and their quotes (roughly what they said).

1) The "not my problem" Type - "in my subject group, there is no collegiality at all and it is like you have to be "nasty" in order to do research".

2) The "Calculative" Type - "it is not the amount of the investment (i.e., budget) it is the COST of the investment that decides our way forward in the school".

3) The "Economical" Type - "XX now decides that she is not giving us lunch, but hold on, we turn that around. Just yesterday, we had our little research seminar, where yy discussed about her submitted paper which is now in the R&R (revised and resubmit) stage, our group gives feedback, and you know what, this is a normal "research" meeting, not "staff" meeting, we end up still get our FREE lunch."

4) The "Lost" Type - "So, what do you think is our role model?"

5) The "Lateral Thinker" - "Perhaps we should learn from the BAD model?"

6) The "Pragmatic" Type - "We must assume others near to our ranking are also doing the same thing, if we are not going to do anything, we will sure drop down from our current ranking."

7) The "Visionary" Type - "You seemed to be in some sorts of illusion, thinking there MUST be some perfect saviour existing that will just turn up, no, it is from within about how we think about our research and what we want to do that matters."

8) The "Strategist" - "I think we need to think about our strength, weakness, opportunity and threat."

9) The "knowing what they want" Type - "I think research should be go beyond subject groups and working cross disciplinary research is a condition that is "non-negotiable" because I am not joining an accounting and finance department."

The meeting ended in 2 hours. I kept thinking what happened and what was discussed in the meeting and it made me smile and made my day, perhaps I didn't know some of colleagues too well and I thought I just knew something new today.

Research presentation

I am glad today is finally over. In fact, I am happy this week is almost coming to an end. I had few things all come together this week, including the last lecture I gave for my course. And today I also gave a presentation on my housing market research to my departmental colleagues. This research is at its final stage and about to send out to an academic journal. Honestly, I didn't feel quite excited presenting it, mainly because I had spent quite a lot of time doing this research and I find that it is time to "move on", i.e., I am not keen to further innovate my research methodology or incorporate further ideas into my paper. But some colleagues still find the research interesting and had some discussions, which I am glad. GS raise some issues about the methodology, which is totally out of my control since it was MW who is preparing this. But I noted his points and brought it up with MW after the presentation, in which I also highlighted to MW we have to "get on with this paper" as it's being dragged too long.

Perhaps due to the stage of the paper that it is in, I find I am able to "defend" it better, in the sense of explaining it in term of "completion of the story" and "the potential readership of the paper". I am secretly happy with this as our RGC is also in the audience and that he is "watching" and I am not surprise he asked me about which journal I am sending to. I told him "Urban Studies" and he asked if it is listed in ABS (which of course it's listed), and I told him it is rated a 3*. He later said it is fine even if the journal was not listed in ABS, but I kind of find that he mind, and I told him that as my collaborator MW is purely a housing market researcher, we do discuss the journal that suits both of us, with regards to the panel for the REF exercise.

I felt a bit relieve after the research presentation, I then quickly did my exam paper amendment and got them signed off by the end of the day. Tomorrow and the day after, I finally have some times on my own to do research, though there will be a school wide research strategy meeting tomorrow, which I will be attending. Let's see if anything new can be learnt from those lead the sessions. I am eagerly looking forward to that. :D

Good luck, kids!

"... But I don't think I want to see you again..."

Finally, I came to the end of the road with those noisy kids. Today had my last revision lecture with them. Still as noisy, but I only use my laser pointer and hit hard on the table until I get some attention and I carry on. I had today 17 double-sided pages of notes, even have to ask someone from facilities to help me carry over to the lecture theatre.

I gave out all today, a big summary of my 10 weeks of lecture notes, selected exam questions discussion and even provide them exam strategies, tell them technique now to build confidence during exam condition, etc.

After class, I received email from one student about references of one of my lecture. He got the week number of the week wrong so I sent a reply to remind him about it and to be careful about lecture informaion and where it points towards the reference information.

Yesterday, I received an email from one other student who said I made a mistake on one of my slide, I emailed her to tell her the correction were discussed in a subsequent lecture and that if she followed up the lecture, she would have known. She replied to say she attended all lecture, and just going through the notes, and she thought my reply "not appropriate". I replied to her and tell her i meant follow up lecture NOTES regularly! Ah well, should not encourage them to send email if they are in doubt about their revisions. They probably would just ask anything and I think I might just receive thousand of them at one go, probably best meet them face-to-face, sort out problem one and for all, good for both the students and I.

Good luck, kids, that is all I would say for your exam, and even more good luck to you as you go for your placement next year. May you all learn the good lessons out there even it might be going to learning it the HARD way for some, so good good good luck! I don't think I want to see you again, but I should see you around :D

Uninspired

".... I am listening to Adore Jazz on itune radio and enjoying it. Perhaps I will be inspired again...."

I came back home about 6.40 pm. One of those days I finished my work "early". The daylight was on and make it feel even "earlier". I did the same routine, shower, steam/cook my dinner, logon the net, watching online drama. Then I finished shower, finishing streaming the drama, get my steamed veggie and rice ready, watched my drama and have my dinner.

When I finished my dinner, I had my smoothie and kiwi and I switched to watch "come dine with me" online. Had a REAL big belly laugh, and enjoy it. Then I switched the itune radio station on and listen to the Adore jazz channel. I guess this is how it feels like when I am uninspired or put it simply, bored! Not that I didn't do anything for my day. I actually finished JR's paper, perhaps you find that, when it is about reaching the end, there are still things need "investigation" that kind of drained you out a bit. This is what happen to the JR's paper.

But, it could be one of those days where there are too many things going on. I met up with 5 students about their exams and the personal coping with study. I also had to make 230 copies of lecture note of 35 pages each and I am still not sure if I can get help for someone to bring those 4 thick sets of notes to the lecture theatre. How can I feel not bored about today because of all these. Perhaps it's time to re-think spending 2 or 3 times a week working from home, for a change and also get some "peace and quiet" and get inspired. But for now, I am listening to Adore Jazz on itune radio and enjoying it. Perhaps I will be inspired again or maybe I will just have an early night.

Reinvention

"..... I am still zenbreather and I still reflect and lately I realise this is also one main characteristic of Leo, which I am one..."

They said you have to reinvent yourselves once in a way to get new inspirations. This could be a new type of job, a new image, a change of lifestyle, etc. I found another way to reinvent myself. Yes, you are right. I am reinventing myself through the change of the theme of my blog.

I have now written about 100 posts. I do find myself getting more drawn down to writing stuff related to my work. As you can probably see, the "Career and development" section has a lot more entries than others. Therefore, after some thoughts, I began to realise perhaps I should have a blog theme that suits the situation I am in and "Ivory Tower" appears to be the best fit. I like the new blog skins. It is quite academic, the font, the mixture of information on the layout, a bit like those we read from the "Economist" magazine. The only thing I need to do, is to add in more "labels" so that the future posts for "Career and development" can be further broken down into other categories.

However, I am still zenbreather and I still reflect and lately I realise this is also one main characteristic of Leo, which I am one. Being reflective is a characteristics for Leo because Leos are competitive and actually they are being competitive with themselves. They reflect so that they know what else they can do to continue to be better. Sometimes, they believe if they can be better than their current selves there is also likely chance, they will be better than others, though their intentions of competition does not begin with "winning others".

Yes, I am not aiming at winning others, other than myself. As I wrote this, I began to think what I had done today. Well, I finished preparing the Wednesday presentation slides and though I didn't write enough of the book review for XYX publisher, there should be enough time do do that later. I have some meetings with students tomorrow and I am relaxed about them, the more I think I only left with my last lecture to do, so I should be able to do the JR's paper, while waiting for them. And yes, I have to call SMH tomorrow, not chat with her for a long time, not sure what happen to North East Scotland now. I am feeling relaxed and reinvented (i.e., inspired) as I get ready to face tomorrow and the rest of next week, and I hope you too!

relaxation, enjoyment and productivity

"...Just like training your muscle, it is not always advisable to work on the same part of your muscle, because it may "get tired" and stop "reacting" so you end up not getting the desired effects..."

I have been asking myself this question past few days, i.e., what relaxes me? It's not secret that 2/3 of my life now at the moment is spent in front of a computer. I was thinking along the line of having to work with computer for long hours each day, so what are the things that I do on the computer that relaxes me? Besides, where do I work (on my computer) that relaxes me most? is it at home or in the office?

I find myself the most "happy" when I am typing things that I can give an opinion or "telling a story" of some sorts. Therefore, you can imgaine typing lecture notes could be quite a boring task. And of course, productivity can also be affected when switching from one task to another, simply because you need to get adapted to the different forms of tasks undertaken.

I was doing quite long hours on the paper with JR today. Now, I can say the first draft is 80% completed. It's hard work, but I pay attention and find all of them worth the while, because I was "investigating" the issues involved in the research. I am surely not relaxing, because I was concentrating. But I had enjoyed it as I did find "light" at the end. I did find, however, that if I can feel relax beginning of the task and keep it going, I could enjoy more. Perhaps when some concentration and focuses are needed in the process, relaxation could not happen, even if it does it should come in later, like during a break.

As I thought back, I think I might have "relaxed" too much. I should say, I was near to being procrastinated. Perhaps this paper with JR has past the difficult stage of sourcing for literature reviews and one task down for now, which is good. I must not forget there are other tasks need doing, and tomorrow should see me doing them. Just like training your muscle, it is not always advisable to work on the same part of your muscle, because it may "get tired" and stop "reacting" so you end up not getting the desired effects. The same theory applies here, have a change with a different type of work and then when you come back to do the JR's paper, new ideas and inspirations could emerge. And let's hope new ideas emerged for my other tasks that are to be accompolished tomorrow. :D

Research Agenda

It's the weekend and it just felt time flies so fast. I was packing things to the bag in the office when I was about to go home and I realised this. I was trying to bring home few papers to read and JR's dissertations to help me draft the research paper. This week has got some huge dramas. We have Mr Smoothie, LF's indebtedness, two revision lectures, the health checks and a couple of book reviews jobs.

I am just trying to think what's instored next week. Well, I already have a couple of students' meeting lined up and a research presentation to give to our group about the Singapore Housing Market. I am also likely to have students come knocking on my door to ask about exams.

As for research, what's the happening? Well, the followings are on the agenda this weekend and beyond. In fact, it relaxes my mind a bit sometimes when I am "doing research". I am still trying
to figure the exact explanation of this strange reaction.

1) JR research - I think after finishing the first two paragraphs, it felt like I am getting into the main theme of the topic, so the going should get smoother, as I gathered more material together

2) Potential MT's collaboration - I had not told MT yet. Though MT can be quite over-reacting to student's noises and at times made me nervous the way he explained the "bad" situation, I actually think he is quite a good communicator, coming to research. We had a brief 5 minutes chat the other day, all because he asked me whether I had read his paper he showed me, and then he start talking about the "probability distribution" in his context and how the "Eigenvalues" play a role. Immediately, I sense some research that can use his idea.

3) Modelling discontinuous series - I want to explore to see how this can be possible using a different non-linear time series techniques.

4) Risk issues in portfolios allocation - this is an extended areas from my published paper, but now using different type of data like other investment funds and see if similar conclusion can be drawn.

The above, apart from 1) are the more recent inspirations, which I hope are here to stay, and able to improvise upon. I am hoping that, after next Wednesday I could have more time doing research, as I should have finished all my lecture by next Tuesday and that from Wednesday, after 2 pm, my research presentation would also have finished. In between that time and the first week of June, I have two weeks of free time for research work. Let's hope the ideas are well supported and good research can be produced from them, :D

Look leaner and think sharper!

This week is the University's "health awareness" week. There is a health check for blood pressure, height, weight and many more. As I was curious about what might be checked and an eagerness to know how my "health" status, I went for the "check up". I was quite pleased with the result, particularly my body fat is only 13.4%. I remember about 6 years ago, a similar test about my body fat was done and I was 20% at that time, so my lifestyle and dietary habit did helped me to gain a change in my body fat weightings. What, however, more interesting is the muscle mass, which is 46.9 Kg. Given that I weighed only 57.1 Kg. The muscle represents more than 80% of my body content. That feels great!

I surfed the website to find a bit more about how to build up the muscle mass. The following are few points I gathered from a website, that are related to those heavy weight trainers, but I do see some relevance to my case of "building small muscle".

1. Weight Train - I didn't do that, of course. However, since I bought a abs crunches equipment for £3 from my local charity shop, I quit the Gym. I mean, I went there to use their machine to do the crunches anyway. They said men accumulated fats round the abdominal regions and that is how I get to do crunches a lot more 2 years ago. I just do that every morning.

2. Eat More Protein - Don't get me wrong, I am not an Atkin's diet advocate, I do have calorie in my diet. The percentage of protein, however, then to be higher. This includes brown bread, Greek yogurt (it is thicker and better quality), tuna sandwich, peanut butter, etc. These are good in building body muscle

3. Eat More Often - have snacks in between meals. I normally have brown biscuits in the afternoon or throughout the day whenever I felt the need to eat them, just one or two at a time,.

4. Eat More Fat - well, this means unsaturated fats. The body needs fat to maintain a balance diet anyway. I had olive oil, walnuts in my evening meals most days. non-saturated fats also have the benefits to help reduce cholesterol.

5. Rest More Often - You don't need to exercise everyday. While I went swimming 2 - 3 times a week, I don't go consecutively two days in a row. I let my muscle some "rests". It "trained itself" better after a "rest", so is my crunches exercise in the morning. Sometimes, I just gave myself a day break.

I am sure if I want to look a lot like "Mr Muscular", I need to train up a lot more, which I am reluctant to do so. I am just happy to do my crunches, firm up my lower abdominal muscle, which is a lot harder to reach if you don't have the right position and equipments to support the crunches on that part of the body. Luckily I have those equipment and I am able to do so, and it seems it has the desired effect I wanted as well. As long as I look leaner and sharper on my exterior, I am pleased, but all of that starts from the intention to live and stay healthily.

The impact factor

"... what an "impact" does "firing" have? Ask the academics..."

Today's meeting is one of the main event in the school. According to our record, there are 64 members of staff in the business school. I like the way big meeting like this conducted over here. Points are always so clearly listed and quickly bit by bit it went through quickly, with the least interruptions.

One issue normally being discussed is in relation to research. JMA who is the research director, is quite impartial, still not lacking in encouragement in his words when he tries to "push" research activities. I guess research is one of the hardest to measure performance, because the benchmark is usually quite hard to be chosen. One aspect of benchmark is what we call the impact factor. This is something which generally is known to be "research being applicable and utilized outside the academia". This is important, apart from publishing in good quality journals. I had a look at the research topics of a impact value and find the following areas to be quite interesting.

1) Girls' awareness of scientific careers

2) Sex workers in London, Soho (not sure if my colleagues really interview the prostitutes, cool, huh?)

3) Soccer clubs' hiring and firing of managers

4) Information systems for the Beijing and London Olympics

The above topics are some areas from some of my even more ambitious colleagues. Academics do have a vision. Anyway, the meeting also mentioned about potential funding to come alone in the near future, rising hope of the possibility for a PhD applicant in which BB and I were interested in pursuing. The meeting ended in under two hours. I felt well informed and then I get back to my work as usual.

The last laugh!

"...it goes, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!....!

I had a meeting with LF today, who is my boss (or head of the group) about WF's exam paper, after I checked that all errors were corrected by him. I did the explanation of the errors and my corrections so well to LF that I heard the nicest thing anyone would have said to me, "Thanks godness for you. K, I am indebted to you". That is what LF said.

Well. and I didn't let Mr smoothie get by so easily. So I told LF at one point in our meeting that, "I am not sure why XX (i.e., Mr smoothie) didnt pick that error up, it is so obvious, just comparing the question and the answers, the numbers were incorrect." Of course, I didn't drag on and on with that, I told her instead that, "Well, LF I get on with it, and then I find more errors and I just call WF, tell him to change it and he sent me updated files and whenever I found new errors, I asked him to change again and he sent me another updated file, until he got all of them right and correct."

I also didn't miss an opportunity to show how good am I in doing my job, and I add to LF that, "Not that this is the way I do because of WF, I would check the errors and do the same for all other colleauges who asked me to check their exam questions and answers, because it is only fair to the students that we get the answers right."

I guess at the end of it, I made my point, kill two birds with one stone, made LF said she is "indebted" to me (never mind that is true or not true, at least she said it), so I must thank Mr Smoothie, :D

Here comes Mr Smoothie!!

".. and also a bit of a Mr Slippery..."

I talked about "be very careful" and about being helpful to be ABOUT YOU and today I experienced an incident in the office, just reminded me of someone among my colleagues who could be much the same as the way I describe it. He is very smooth and well mannered, and just charmed you into discussing anything he brought up, though you might find it weird. Like he would say he doesn't like to go conference, because it is spending taxpayer's money, but I thought we can claim back the money we spend during the conference attendance period. So, I don't quite get him.

He was recently asked to check colleagues' exam paper, which happened to have massive errors. He did asked me to take a look, which I did, and which surprised me a lot because he seemed to know those errors himself and seemed not doing anything about it, except sending emails to the colleagues concerned who in-charged of the exam papers, and not quite directing to him what errors he had committed. In the end, LF (i.e., our group leader) had to contact me and asked me to help out. It seemed the "smooth colleauge" had too much of this colleauge who commit the errors. I simply contacted the colleagues who set the exam paper and told him directly of the errors he made and he changed it, just as simple as that.

I don't quite understand why the "smooth" colleague want to waste so much time doing those "unnecessary thing". This actually ate into a bit of my planned research time today, though by time my day ended for work, I did had some considerable amount of work done with JR. How should I deal with the "smooth" colleague. He is the type of person that I had described yesterday and that is, being helpful to him is ABOUT HIM, i.e., he might want some help in the end and he is doing so to be helpful so he can get a little more from you than you to him. I cannot let someone like this filled in too much of my thought, though I also have to be careful with him from now on.

Here come "Kick Ass" the superhero

"... and only if being nice and helpful can be that straighforward"

I cannot understand the joy of comic book because I don't get it. I cannot see how the world of comic book characters lived their life, yet I had just watched "kick Ass" and I am enjoying it. "Kick Ass" is adapted from a comic book story and it seemed the copyright was sold even before the actual comic book was published.

I had heard good review of the movie and that prompted me to watch it. Interestingly, the main lead character of the movie was not the superhero, "Kick Ass", it was the purple-haired hit girl. I think there is a deeper meaning for putting "Kick Ass" as the main superhero role. Like some superheros in the past we knew of, such as batman, "Kick Ass" can be seen as a "reluctant superhero", whose intention of wanting to be a superhero was partly motivated by the fact that he was being bullied by friends surrounding him. That comes quite natural in a person from that age, and perhaps to some extent similar to spiderman.

Thanks to the excellent editing, I enjoyed the gun fights and violent scenes in the movie, which are brutal but also clean-cut, neat and tidy. I also like "Kick Ass" self-promoting on facebook and myspace, like most of us wanted to get the shortest route to fame, this is so true! :D Still, back in my mind I was asking myself what is it in the superheros that appeals to comic readers, is there anything in the world they want to change and cannot change, and they use superhero as a messenger to convey the ideas? at least what I can see from "Kick Ass", his motive seems to be like that.

"Kick Ass" himself, however, also knew his shortcoming and weakness, so has he chosen to be a superhero too fast too soon? And here comes the next question, forget about being superhero, are you a helpful person? if you are, have you overestimated your ability? is helping people all about YOU? Obviously not and that perhaps it led to interesting issues to be addressed as we seen in "Kick Ass".

In the movie when it ended, "Kick Ass" finally fulfilled his ambition to be "superhero" and did a "brave act". In the real life, perhaps it is not that straightforward, "being helpful" can sometimes lie in the "grey area", and it could become tricky, if you put your interest in the hand of others. Be very careful.

When reality TV "gets it right"

"Is it worth the while to get humilated and then walked away with your head held high?"

Tonight "Britian got talent" is interesting. This guy called James Boyle who is dying to "break the record", used "that" as a "talent" to enter the program. Last year he attempted "eating the Ferreo Rochers" as a mean to break the world record of 8 in a minute, but he didn't beat that record. This year he came to "Britian got talent" again and wanted to break world record of "eating 9 "After 8" chocolates" in a minute and he failed again. I thought his persisence was charming, but used wrongly. The clip below show his "performance" in the show.



For some, the so called hidden talent ones are really good and if done properly inspired others In tonight "Britian Got Talent", there is this 80 year old great-grandmother gave an amazingly good performance. Watch this, she is truly an inspiration. I can smell another "Susan Boyle" in the making no :D



In the 21st century, if there is anything that you can do to show you have the courage, is to go to the reality TV show, get humiliated (maybe) and still walk away with your head held high. Sometimes, however, reality TV does "get it right", and then it went the wrong way making people over estimating their capabilities and then ended up going for programs like "Britian Got Talent" and then they failed, not sure if that is worth the while, but they are certainly of high entertainment values and brought laughs to people, :D.